Thursday, December 31, 2009

In 2 Hours

In 2 hours, it will be 2010. A new decade, a new year, a new day, a fresh page. I am sitting in my apartment, a movie on in the background (Where the Heart Is), in sweat pants and a fleece shirt, wrapped up in a fleece blanket. I am laughing at a line in the movie....the little girl asks if you feed a cow chocolate will you get chocolate milk to which the guy responds yes and he continues saying that if you spin a cow around really fast you will get whipped cream. LOL

I had offers to go out tonight and had planned on doing just that. Tim's sister Carol is hosting the New Year's Eve celebration tonight and Cheryl from church invited me over for board games and food. However, tonight home just sounded SO good. I haven't really felt that great.....probably due to lack of sleep, stress, some bug going around or a combination of all three.

Tuesday at work I just didn't feel well all day. Nothing that I could say "this hurts or this aches" just overall not feeling well. At 8:30 that night, I finally just went to bed thinking that I would probably wake up around midnight or something. I didn't wake up until 730 the next morning and only then because Shadow was biting my toes to let me know that her food bowl was empty. I thought that maybe I just needed the rest.

Yesterday, we had snow again. Flurries off and on throughout the day but the temperature wasn't too bad. This was the view from my window at work:

The day at the insurane agency was chaotic. It seemed like for every new policy we wrote we cancelled one in its place. Tim and I didn't even really speak to each other because we both were just so .....I cant' even find the right word. I left the insurance agency and went to work at the YMCA. I was there until 10 and then booked it to the movie theater.
Blind Side FINALLY made it to the $5 club and I was not going to miss it. It was the bestest, happiest, saddest movie I have seen in a long time and I can't wait to see it again. In fact, I can't wait to own my own copy. I laughed,I cried,it made me think, it made me hope.....Hope that there is still kindness for each other, hope that there is still goodness, hope that no matter what the situation change is ALWAYS possible.
I didn't make it home until after 1AM and I had to be at work at the YMCA at 6AM. I left the house around 5:00 thinking that maybe the Bread Co would be open and I could grab a danish and hot chocolate. No such luck as they do not open until 6, so I ended up at work at 5:30AM. I worked until 9:30, had to be at Tim/Becky's by 10:30 and was hungry for Hardee's cinnamon holes. I went through the drive-thru to find that Hardee's no longer carries the cinnamon holes---twice in one morning I was denied the sweetness I was craving!!! So I settled for a sausage/cheese biscuit and milk--and headed to the Philipps house. I ate my "not what I wanted" breakfast while staring at the remains of the kids French Toast. I wanted that French Toast, I wanted to eat the cold remenants that were left in the sticky syrup pool on their plates, I wanted to lick the bottom of the syrup pool. I didn't though because I'm a grown-up and giving in would just be disgusting. I ate my "not what I wanted" biscuit and drank my milk. I have NO idea why I was craving sweets SO bad.
Becky and I took Delaney to see "The Princess and the Frog". It was so cute seeing Delaney carrying her Princess Tiana doll to the movie.


I made it back home around 2pm. Shadow and I curled up on the couch for a much needed nap. And here I sit, now only an hour and half to a new year. Indy has her 10PM snack and is curled up in her cat perch. I am looking around at the mess of my apartment and think "tomorrow is another day"
Happy New Year!!!!!

Monday, December 28, 2009

Monday Mayhem

The title fits today. Monday's are always crazier than normal but having the office closed for two days adds to the chaos. The morning started out better than expected but of course it ended with trying to take care of a client and needing to leave for an appointment at the same time. Tim stepped in and finished up with the client as best as he could given the time of day.

Outside my window today: Cold but yesterday's snow started to turn to slush on the sidewalks. By the time I arrived home, the temperature had dropped and the slush was turning to ice.

On the TV: My usual shows are on hiatus so I am watching a recorded episode of Holmes on Homes. The show makes me thankful that I am no longer a home owner and am not renovating/remodeling. It gives me great insight into what SHOULD be done though.

I'm Reading: The Lost Symbol by Dan Brown. I finished "The Heretic's Daughter" by Kathleen Kent while at mom and dad's for Christmas. I don't recommend that book. It was ink on paper...no emotion behind the words when there could have been SO much. I finished "Hotel on the Corner of Bitter and Sweet" right about a week ago. A great book but not what I had expected. I'm not sure what I expected really. I checked it out because of a review that was written about it in USA today. It's the story of a Chinese American man who grew up during the Pearl Harbor era. There was so much history and emotion in the pages and I'm glad that I read it. I can't imagine growing up in that time as a Chinese (or Japanese for that matter) youth, having to wear a button to let all know that you were Chinese so that you didn't get arrested.

In my kitchen: Dirty dishes--LOL I had Fiesta Lime Chicken from Schwan's for dinner. Tomorrow night will be my "creative night" so hopefully there will be something tasty coming from the kitchen.

I took Shadow to the vet tonight for her booster shots. She is approximately 4 months old. She was SO mad at me afterwards. She curled up in her carrier with her back to me. It wasn't long after we were home though that she was back in my lap. Love that cat!

With the new year and the change in work schedules, my plan is that Monday night will be my house cleaning/errand night. Tuesday will be creative night--baking, scrapbooking,etc--or doing something with friends. Wednesday is church night. Thursday, Friday and Saturday nights will be work at the YMCA. Sunday...well that's church day and the day of rest which means NAP.

I had such a blessed Christmas this year. It was so nice to be with my parents and just relax. No agenda, no place to be, no expecations....just us three. I hope you had as wonderful a holiday.

Until the next time....here is a random picture

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

She has passed....

This morning my mother-in-law, Margaret Budd, passed away. She was a fighter. A strong-willed, stubborn lady who loved her family and her husband. Beneath that tough outside layer was a heart...a heart that loved, a heart that could hurt, a heart that ached for her departed husband, a heart that rejoiced with each grandchild and great-granchild.

I met Margie around 1993 or 1994. She was still living in Union then in the house that she and Ralph had finished raising her two sons in. The house were she spent the final years with Ralph. She was no nonsense---things were the way they were and you just had to accept it. I remember when her dog Buttons passed away. It was winter and the ground was frozen so no one could bury him. So she put Buttons in a turkey roaster and set the roaster on the back porch until the ground thawed enough. As she put it "the roaster had holes in it anyway so I found a use for it and it was cold enough on the back porch". No nonsense.

I was there when the family moved her from Union to Hillsboro. A sad but happy time for her. Saddness in that she was leaving behind a house full of memories and happiness that she was going to be close to her great grandchildren. As we packed up boxes, she would tell me the stories associated with a picture, a knick-knack, a piece of furniture or even a room.

It was while in Hillsboro that she took the fall that would eventually lead to her diagnosis and eventually bring her to mine and Jeff's house. I had the privilege of caring for her for over a year. Prior to that, I would drive up on a Friday or Saturday night. I would spend the night with her, we would watch movies, I took her out to breakfast and we ran errands. I smile remembering how she would always order either pancackes or waffles. Even when she was in the hospital, if I took her a pancacke she would immediately feel better. During those weekends, we would talk. She talked to me about growing up in the Depression, about caring for her sister Marilyn, about how she met Ralph, about her love for Ralph. With each conversation, my love and respect for her grew.

When we moved her in with us, I learned even more about her and I sadly watched her health decline. As her health declined though her mind stayed sharp. We would still have great conversations about her past, about things that happened in the Bible, we would sing together and we would do crossword puzzles together. I never even thought of doing a crossword until Margie moved in and now I'm addicted :>)

I will miss her because I loved her. Because I love her, I am happy that she is finally at peace and with her one true love. Thank you Margie for the life lessons that you have taught me. Thank you for being true to yourself. Thank you for the son that you gave to me as my husband. Thank you for being you.

Is that what I am????

Peaceful....that is how my friend Lisa described me in a comment. Is that what I am?? I hope so. It's what I have strived for as long as I can remember. A peaceful home, a peaceful disposition. I don't like drama, cannot stand confrontation and loud arguments make me nauseous.

Why is this??? If someone were analyzing me they would probably say "it stems from something in your childhood" (said with a deep voice, not sure why but that's how I hear it my head). Maybe it does. I remember my parents arguing when I was little, I remember one instance where my dad threw a rolled up magazine or newspaper or something at my mom. I remember being put in the car and going to grandma's. Are these realy memories though???? Or are they exaggerations of an event or events that happened?

Whatever they are, they in no way change the way I feel about both my parents. I love them both dearly. I am grateful for their guidance and love as I grew up. Does dad still have a temper? Sure but it's seems differnt now, more muted. Again maybe it's because I'm no longer there 24 hours a day. I see that same temper, that same spirit rise up in me at times and I have to claim the blood of Jesus to keep it in check.

My mom is crier and I inherited that from her. We don't confront, we don't rock the boat, we just swallow it (whatever it may be at the time) until we explode in this fountain of tears that result from frustration, hurt and anger.

So back to peace. Peace to me equals quiet. A quiet, restful spirit. A place where one can rest (whether that is physically, mentally or emotionally). A place to recharge.

So Lisa, my dear friend, thank you for the compliment. I hope that I can continue to be that peaceful person to you. I love you, your love of life, your love of family, your love of God. Thank you for making me a part of your world.

Monday, November 9, 2009

Monday Mayhem

So it's Monday and I thought I would recap the last week. Thus, Monday Mayhem is born. And yes, this is post number two for today. I am much calmer now :>)

Hours Worked Last Week: 67.5

Activities Other Than Work: Thursday night I helped Lisa with the triplets. LOVE those babies!!!! Ms. Lynn joined us and since it was also Ladies Prayer night, the three of us had our own Ladies Prayer after we had the triplets to sleep. Then Ms. Lynn and I went to AppleBee's for an appetizer and some great conversation.

Friday morning was Bible Study which is always great. It was much need girl and God time.

Saturday evening I stoppped by the Philipps for Carson's birthday party. I brought Hannah (their dog) home with me for a sleep over.

What I Am Reading: I just finished "The Crowning Glory of Calla Lilly Ponder" by the author of the Ya Ya SisterHood. I LOVED this book. In fact, I now want my own copy. It's the first book I have read in a while that actually brought my tears to my eyes.

And that was my week in a nut shell. Exciting Huh????

Is this what it felt like.....

I am sitting at my desk, I am still, but my heart feels like I am going a hundred miles an hour. I can almost see the world buzzing past me. I have a residual headache that leaves me feeling almost dizzy. Again, there is a blurriness as of everything around me is speeding by. I wonder if this is what my grandma felt like when she had her nervous breakdown????

Did she feel like she was standing still but drowning at the same time? Did she feel like no matter how fast she moved her feet that her target was moving farther away? Did she feel like turning in circles to try and catch up with all that had to be done, all that was required, all that was being asked of her?

I don't like this feeling. I didn't wake up this way. I woke up at peace, a slight residual headache but spent time reading God's word. I started on our weekly study--this week the subject is the doldrums. What a funny word--doldrum. I read the first page and thought "what?" I looked the word up for a definition. In language doldrums means "being in a state of listlessness, despondency, inactivity, stagnation, or a slump". Our key verse came from Isaiah and I couldn't relate the verse to the study. I completed the first half of the study and then opened my Bible to just read. Funny but God opened it to the chapter of the key verse. So I read. I read that chapter and the next and the next. And He spoke to me. He said to me that as Christians we can be in the doldrums in our walk with Him. We become stagnate, we go through the motions. Sunday School, worship service, Sunday night Service, Wednesday night service and we start over. We pray every day, we lift up those in need, we read His word, we move our feet but not our hearts. He brought me back to a verse from our study where Paul talks about the church not growing but being as infants still needing milk when they should be teaching. They became stagnant, they need to start over at the very beginning. They needed and I need to have that heart to heart that leads to a "new relationship" with Him. I need to go back to being an infant and relying on Him for my "milk", my sustenance.

I prayed, I thanked Him for my blessings, I asked to be a blessing and I came to work at peace. And five minutes in, my heart began racing and the world started sprinting while I was sitting at my desk.

So, here I am at work. I am typing on my blog, I am listenting to some Jim Brickman and I am zoning everything around me out to focus. Focus on Him. Focus on the blessings of job, needs that are met, a boss that says "just sit at your desk for minute and relax", focus on the fact that God never walks away, focus on just being.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Weight Loss Wednesday

So it's week one of weight loss Wednesday and I lost one pound. I'm a little disappointed because I felt that I had done better than that. However, it is almost that time of month and that last few days I have been HUNGRY. So we will see how this week goes.

It's late and I am just home from work. Headed to bed.....

It's an ugly word.....

Jealousy....it's an ugly word. I always have associated jealousy with material things. Your friend buys a new house and it's exactly what you wanted, someone buys a new car and it's the one that you have been eyeing. I looked at it as being associated with something that could be purchased.
I've never considered myself a jealous person. Someone buys a new house, I appreciate the beauty of it but think "thank goodness I don't have to clean it, maintain it, etc." Someone buys a new car and I think "good for them, at least I don't have that payment". I never understood jealousy in a relationship. If you love someone and you know that they love you, why would you be jealous of them?
At least these were my thoughts until reading the chapter on jealousy in our weekly Bible Study book. I studied the chapter last night. Last night these words jumped out at me " We wonder why some women are so wise, poised and articulate. This one is pretty. That one has the perfect career. This one has such polite children. That one has so many friends." God made me realize that jealousy doesn't have to be about things that can be purchased. It doesn't matter if it's material or inmaterial. Jealousy goes hand and hand with covetousness.
I read that passage in our book and I realized "that's me!!" I look at other women and think " they are so elegant, they are so put together, everyone loves them" and I feel sorry for myself. It is a problem, a mood, and emotional inbalance that I can't ever remember not having. I want to be loved, I want to be accepted, I want to be the beautiful girl, the smart and funny girl, the one that everyone wants to include. So I try to over achieve to accomplish this. I sign up for everything. I don't say no when asked, I insert myself into conversations that have nothing to do with me thinking that this will fill that need. When in reality, I am loved. I have a wonderful circle of family and friends that have been and will be there for me. They enjoy ME. I also have a Heavenly Father who accepts me for me because He created me.
As I started typing this tonight, I also realized that I am jealous over the material things as well. God just smacked me in the forehead (it is still stinging a little--LOL) and made realize that even though I say things like "I wouldn't want to clean it or I wouldn't want the payment" that those words are a front for my true feelings. Feelings which are "it must be nice to be able to afford that, I wish I could spend money like that, etc." These feelings are unjustified and lead to bitterness.
We are each unique beings, created just the way God wanted us to be. In that same vein, we each have a unique path. For some, it's a paved sidewalk and for other's it's an overgrown trail. But on each of these paths, we have a guide if we will only rely on Him. Our guide has given us a map (His word) to follow and He is always there if we tend to lose our spot on the map. The path that someone else is on may look easier. It may look more enjoyable. But appearances can be deceiving. That paved sidewalk has cracks that can cause the walker to stumble while the overgrown trail provides shade from the heat. The paved sidewalk leaves the walker exposed to the elements and all those passing by. The overgrown trail can provide shelter and protection. It doesn't matter what your path may be, it's how you choose to perceive it.
Lord, help me to appreciate my path. Let me see the beauty in the simple things and the blessings that come with the simplicity. Help me to appreciate the me that you have created and accept the love that others offer me.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Longaberger For Sale

Since my seperation, I have taken a minimalist approach. If I don't use it, then I don't need it. My Longaberger collection has been a HUGE part of this. Since Longaberger is a collectible, the selling of some of these pieces has brought some much needed extra income.

I opened up my TV cabinet last night and found some four more baskets. They had a purpose and a use in my former house but do not now. I am selling these at 50% off their original price. They are all in great if not excellent condition. I accept cash, check, money order or PayPal.



This is the 2004 Hostess Greetings Set. The basket is 18LX14Wx8H with a red weave and swing handles. The set includes the basket, protector and striped liner. I am asking $100 for it. I LOVE this basket but it currently and has been just a decoration sitting on the bottom of my bakers rack.


This is the lunch box basket. This basket was woven in 2005, has swing handles and includes the protector. I am asking $30 for it.

This is the darning basket set. This basket is retired. It measures 10RD x 4H and includes the protector and an orchard park plaid liner. I am asking $30 for the set.

Finally this is a tea basket set. It includes protector and black liner. I am selling for $25.

Please send me an email to jekkaj1@hotmail.com if you are interested.

Thanks

Monday, October 19, 2009

BLAHHHHH

I guess the Lord knows I have no willpower when it come to food. I made the decision on Thursday to join with others on Karen Ehman's blog (http://karenehman.com/home/) in Weightloss Wednesdays. I am at my heaviest point and just can't do it anymore. My back hurts, I have no energy and it's something that I have to do for me. I casually watched what I ate Friday, Saturday and yesterday---although it was hard since I was working both jobs. Yesterday afternoon while at the Y, I was doing well. I had had a bowl of oatmeal for breakfast, a protein shake midmorning and a footlong turkey sandwich for lunch (I knew that I would be working through dinner). About four o'clock, a birthday party left and they stopped at the front desk to give me a piece of cake. I should have said no but it's cake!!!! It was just tiny sliver (I made sure of that) so I took it. Did I want it, not really. Was I hungry? Not really Did I eat it---you betcha. And then I started feeling sick. It started with a dull headache and I thought...you idiot you just ate straight carbs and sugar. I was reading a Good Housekeeping Magazine and came across an article called "Straying Fork Syndrome". It was about choosing the foods you really want instead of the ones that ambush you. At first I was skeptical about what the article would say but it really spoke to me. The author talks about food being one of two types--"hummers" and "beckoners". After reading the article, I realized that the cake was a beckoner. I didn't have a craving for that cake but it just looked so good I had to eat it. It beckoned me and I answered. I left work and went to Jeff's to do a load of laundry. I thought about what I wanted to eat, what really sounded good to me and I decided that I really wanted a BBQ Baked Potato. Since I was in Collinsville, I went to Bandana's and ordered one. It tasted SO good, was exactly what I wanted but the more I ate the more my head hurt.
So back to the opening of my blog where I said the Lord knows I have no willpower. That headache led to a VERY long night of throwing up---the cake, my wonderful BBQ Baked Potato, everything!!! About 3:30, after taking 800mg of ibuprofen, I fell asleep. I woke up this morning with a sore neck, a filthy bathroom and a stomach that is still rolling. So today, I am sipping water, eating crackers and saying "OK, I get it".
As I was driving in, I passed a swan on Highway 157. A SWAN!!! It was the oddest thing and I have no idea where it came from. Yet there it was just walking down the turn lane.

I started writing this yesterday morning but by afternoon was again feeling icky so I didn't finish it. I managed to stay at work until 5PM. As they saying goes "the show must go on" and we had outside appointments. As I was leaving I noticed a "pond" of sorts across the highway which is the result of construction. I guess this is where the swan was headed or came from.
I stopped by Dairy Queen for a plain cheeseburger ( my go to meal when I am sick as this is what mom/dad gave me when I was little and sick)and headed home. I laid on the couch drinking water and catching up on shows that I had recorded.
Today, my stomach is better but still not 100%, my head is no longer pounding but the ache has moved to my back. I guess it is working its way out of my body--I hope.

Friday, October 16, 2009

Today

I am "borrowing" this idea from Ali Edwards blog

Outside My Window: Right now all is black except for the glow of the street light. Earlier today outside my office window I saw the reds and oranges on the leaves of the trees.

I Am Thinking: About the CPR Training I need to finish before work tomorrow, the Halloween Event at the YMCA tomorrow night, the bills that are due and the lack of money to pay them, the fact that 10 years ago today I was at my wedding reception.

I Am Thankful For: The fact that I have two jobs to help pay my bills, that my husband and I are on the path to a better relationship now that we are seperated, that he is willing to help me financially if I only ask (ahhh there's the hard part), that I have a friend who calls because she knows that today will be hard.

From The Kitchen: A Bake Fresh Pizza from Wal-Mart, flavored water and animal crackers

I Am Wearing: My red YMCA staff shirt, a long sleeve white T-shirt and jeans

I Am Creating: Nothing at this point but will be working on Halloween cards

I Am Going: To bed eventually

I Am Reading: Nothing at this moment. I just finished DeathSwatch by Laura Childs which is a scrapbooking mystery. I am waiting for the next one to come in at the library

I Am Hoping: To start my Halloween projects next week, that my costume for tomorrow night fits and to be debt free quickly

I Am Hearing: Random traffic on the street outside

Around The House: The news is on, my pizza is done, dishes are waiting to be washed and the breakfast bar needs to be cleaned off

One Of My Favorite Things: The sound of children's laughter, the head butt of a kitty cat, the sound of rain (OK that was more than one)

A Few Plans For Next Week: Church on Sunday morning, work at the YMCA Sunday afternoon/evening, an estimate on replacing a door in my apartment

A Random Photo:

Thursday, October 15, 2009

A Diaper Cake



I received a lovely thank you note from Katie Bruza today and realized that I had not posted my creation for her shower. Yes, I made this Diaper Cake. It was really fairly easy and a lot of fun to make. The other samples that I have seen used newborn diapers but I chose to use size 2 as babies seem to outgrown newborn stuff quickly. For about $20, I not only created a cute centerpiece but Katie ended up with 2 Jumbo Packs of diapers, a baby bottle, baby powder and a teddy bear.

Today was a good day. It's amazing how good your days can be when you take the time to refuel your soul and spirit midweek. I wasn't feeling at all well yesterday and contemplated just going home after work. Instead, I went to Bread Company for a cup of soup and then to church. Pastor Rob taught a great bible study and I was blessed afterwards by love and blessings of a friend.

I woke up this morning still not feeling on top of my game but gave it over to God and kept on working. After another bowl of soup for lunch, I was feeling much better. You've heard the saying "God Works in Mysterious Ways"? Well I think God worked through my wild rice and chicken soup---LOL

Tomorrow is Boss' Day, so I am stopping at the Cupcakery for a little sweet goodness. I am thinking a Peanut Butter/Chocolate for Tim and I am not sure yet on what to get Mary (my YMCA boss).

I am grateful today for the fact that I have a job (two in fact), a roof over my head, food in pantry, gas in my vehicle, friends that are like family and family that are like friends.

Blessings

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

A Much Better Day

A floor lamp, a good nights sleep (finally) and a new vacuume cleaner and today was a much better day. I find it funny that household items always make my dreary days better---I guess I am just a nester/nurturer. If I don't have someone to care for, then I will care for my home.

I went to bed at a normal time for me last night (11PM). I snuggled in, read a chapter and turned on the sound machine. I woke up to a dreary sky and thought the day would be filled with rain. However, mid-morning the sun came out and the day turned out beautiful weather wise.

My vacuume cleaner was delivered this morning--a Eureka made for bare floors and thin rugs/carpets. It's a small canister model and I immediately opened the box and vacuumed the office. That simple act simple act caused me to sing, literally. I had a productive day at work and ended the work day with a fabulous dinner.

I had dinner at Tim/Becky's. Tim grilled steak and we had mashed potatoes and peas. Delaney had a "prize" for me--a handwritten note. It was SO sweet and I can't wait to put it in my scrapbook.

I am now watching Hell's Kitchen, recording Biggest Loser and I have vacuumed my living/kitchen area. I plan on getting to bed at normal time tonight in anticipation of another great day tomorrow.

Hugs and blessings....

Monday, September 21, 2009

Little Things Big Results



It's amazing how little things can make such a big change. In this particular instance, I am talking about a floor lamp. And to make it even better, the floor lamp was only $8. Little thing, little money, big difference.

Two weeks ago I put my child, my baby, my cat to sleep due to pancreatitis/liver failure. She was my familiar in a new space....a space that I was still struggling to make my own. Once I no longer had her, the space felt empty and I hated being here. I lost my ambition for unpacking, adding finishing touches, etc. I haven't slept because she was my bed partner. So I'm tired and being tired I end up being sad and being sad I just want to sleep. But I can't because I miss her. It's a vicious cycle.

So after work tonight, I went to Target for a floor lamp. The weekly flyer showed a simple black version for $8. I bought it, brought it home and placed it between the TV cabinet and pantry. I turned it on and it added such a warm glow in what otherwise has felt like a dark, sad room. It has brought me a smile tonight and has restarted the thoughts of what I want to do to make this feel like my home.

A little thing that has brought a much needed smile to my lonely heart.

Monday, April 13, 2009

A Very Blessed Easter

Happy Monday!!! I hope everyone had a blessed Easter holiday. I have no pictures to share but I did have a good day. I woke up to a quiet house as I had stayed at my house the night before. There were no Easter baskets or hidden eggs but the sun was shining and did I mention that I woke up to a quiet house after having slept in an actual bed??? First blessing of the day--LOL

I did miss the kids though as I knew they would be waking up full of excitement to see what the Easter Bunny had brought them. I have kinda grown used to their morning sounds of feet pattering across the floor, Dora on the TV, Carson waking me up to ask if he can play his Playstation. I will miss that when I finally have a place of my own.

Indy and I had our usual morning bowl of cereal, I read the paper and lazily got ready for Sunday School and Church. We had a great Easter Service and I really enjoyed the way Pastor ended it. We ended yesterday's service with communion. Pastor read the scripture about "this is my body...", the deacons passed out the "bread" and once everyone had been served Pastor reminded us what it meant to take the body of Christ. Pastor then read the scripture about "this is my blood..", they passed out the juice and once everyone had been served Pastor reminded us that by taking this we were taking forgiveness. Pastor then said that the Bible reminds us that they left with a hymn. So he asked that everyone join hands and we all sang Amazing Grace. It was so moving and I just felt so connected to God, the church and the people there.

After church, I went through Jack-In-The-Box for a salad. I came back to my house, changed clothes and curled on the couch to watch the finale of Life and eat. I had just finished eating when Katie called and asked if I wanted to join her, Campbell, Amanda and Sherry at Denny's for lunch. I met them and had dessert. Campbell has grown up so much and was just talking away through the meal. At one point, I told her she was a fairy princess and she replied "no, you are". I guess she knows me pretty well. After Denny's, I went back to my house and Indy and I curled up for a Sunday afternoon nap. That evening I went to Brian and Kathi's for Easter dinner, which was also really nice. After dinner I headed back to Tim and Becky's.

Like I said, it was a blessed day.

Friday, March 27, 2009

Bookworm, Bookworm...

I was singing those two words to the tune of "inch worm, inch worm, measuring the measuring stick..." in case you want to join me.

At my last counseling session, my counselor asked what I was doing for me now that Jeff and I are seperated. I had to stop and think a minute because to be honest I'm not used to having SO much me time. But I quickly realized that I have been reading. and a lot. The library has become my friend again after a seperation of several, several years.

I remember as a child, the enjoyment of just sitting in the stacks and randomly pulling books off the shelf to see what kind of adventure or treasure that they contained. I was blessed that my mom worked for a library system, so access to this wonderful world was easily obtained.

For the past year, I have been taking the Thursday edition of USA Today and scouring the Life section for thier editiorials on the newest books. If something sounded good, I would write it down for possible reading later. It was from one of these editorials that I came across "The Story of Edgar Sawtelle". Several months ago, I also printed out "50 Amazing and Essential Novels to Enrich Your Library". I can't remember who created the list but I obtained from my daily dose of Zen Habits (a blog). From this list, I discovered "The Big Sleep" by Raymond Chandler, "The Time Traveler's Wife" by Audrey Niffenegger and "The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time" by Mark Haddon.




This picture shows three of the books that I have just finished or am reading. "Bel Canto" by Ann Patchett came off of the "50 Amazing ..."list and was WONDERFUL. I could not put this book down and I can't wait to read more of her work. "The Reader" by Bernhard Schlink came from the newspaper and ,of course, the preview for the movie. I haven't seen the movie, not sure that I will but book I read in two days. It was very insightful, a great read and one that I left me several tidbits to ponder over. The third book in the photo is "THe House at Sugar Beach" by Helene Cooper. I just started this book and so far it has started out V-E-R-Y S-L-O-W-L-Y for me. I will let you know how it ends up.

I was hoping for a warm, spring weekend but it looks as if we are going to be given a chilly, wet weekend instead. I will be inside for the most of the weekend, so chilly and wet I will still be warm and dry. I am working at the Scrapbook Cafe tomorrow and then on Sunday I start a new house cleaning job. I have my first choir practice Sunday afternoon followed by Sunday service and then it's the start of a new week. Where does time go that it has to arrive so quickly?

I hope you have a blessed weekend....

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

From the mouth of babes...

Happy St. Patrick's Day!!!

My morning started out with a good laugh. When I came upstairs this morning, Delaney was sitting at the table coloring. She was working on one of those "design a mug" projects where they provide you with a drawing that you color and then slip between the clear outside and the mug itself. Anyway, Delaney says to me that she had been up ALL night working on her mug. This made me laugh because I knew that she hadn't been up all night. A moment passed and she said "I think I'm nocturnal because I'm up all night and when day comes I sleep". Now, what other five year old knows what the word nocturnal means? I couldn't help but laugh.

Here is a St. Patrick's Day card that I mailed out to a few people:



and the inside



I just love this saying!!!! If you were one of the recipients of this card, I hope you enjoyed it. For those card making folks out there, the base of the card is made with Stampin Up Very Vanilla, the mat and DP are items that I pulled out of a clearance bin and the stamps are from Hambo Stamps.

Speaking of stamps---I was a winner during Hannah Stamps blog hop give-away!!! If you haven't checked out Hannah Stamps you can find them here
I don't know what I've actually won as the owner is sending out suprize bags. But hey, a prize is a prize!!!!

The weather here today is almost 80 degrees---LOVE IT!! I told Tim that I wanted to move my desk outside. Nothing much else new today. I have my second counseling session tonight, which I'm still not 100% sure about. I know it's helpful and I need to be there but I just cringe at paying the money, especially now.

Happy Trails!
Jess

Monday, March 16, 2009

Has Spring Sprung?

Has Spring finally Sprung? I would like to think so given the 70 degree weather and sunshine that we have today. However, I know that there is still the possibility of snow and cold weather. I remember an Easter with snow on the ground and me in open toe shoes!!!

Has anyone read "The Story of Edgar Sawtelle"? I just finished it last night and it was a GREAT book. It's about a mute boy born into a family that breeds and trains dogs. However, the ending has really gotten to me and I am dying to chat with someone else that has read it to get their opinions. I think I am going to have to go back and reread the last few chapters just to make sure that I read everything correctly.

It has been one month today that Jeff was arrested and it will be one month on Wednesday that I moved in with Tim and Becky. This past week, I spent Thursday and Friday night at my house. So on Thursday morning, I gave Delaney a hug and told her that I would see her on Saturday. She told me that she would watch my stuff for me. She said that my kitty missed me and I needed to spend some time with her as well. Such understanding from a five year old. On Saturday, I walked into the Philipps house around 3:30 and Delaney met me with a HUGE hug. She ran into the family room and came back holding something clutched in her hand. She said "I made this for you" and handed me a "necklace" which was a ribbon that had green beads on one side and clear beads on the other. I immediately put it on and thanked her. I went down to the couch which has become my bed and took a nap. When I got up, Delaney was so excited that I had slept with the necklace on. Later on as I was rocking her for bed, she told me that the clear beads represented salt and the green beads represented green beans. LOL

Yesterday morning I attended Sunday School and morning service. It was only a week ago that Pastor Winters of Maryville Baptist Church was shot and killed during his 8:15AM service. So our sermon yesterday morning was entitled "Why". It was very good and very thought provoking. One of the things that has stayed with me is this. Pastor Winters was only 45 years old. Our pastor said that many people are asking why God would allow such a tragedy and especially one for someone who was so young. Our pastor, Pastor Schneider, referred to the passage in Job that reads "man's days are determined; you have decreed the number of his months and have set limits he cannot exceed". Pastor stated that God has given each of us only so much time and only He knows what it is. Because of this we should live every day as if it were our last. Who is to say that if someone had apprehended the shooter before he was able to reach Pastor Winters, that Pastor Winters would not have died in a car accident on the way home or had a heart attack that night? God has only given each of us a certain amount of time on this Earth and it is up to us to use that time wisely. Pastor also said that sometimes God allows us to suffer because we need to be in a place of suffering for our soul to mature. If our soul is shallow we cannot receive the blessings that God has for us. As you can see, this sermon has stayed with me.

I had an enjoyable lunch yesterday with my friend Tammy and her daughter Brandy. We stopped by my house so that I could give her the Longaberger she had purchased from me and then I went back to Tim/Becky's. Tim and I made a wonderful dinner of pot roast, mashed potatoes and peas---YUMMMMY.

Today, the sun has shone, work has been steady and I had an interview for a part-time job at Country Inn Hearth and Suites. Becky just called to let us know she thinks Carson has strep throat and she is taking him to the doctor.

As I write this, a song from Casting Crowns is echoing through my head " here I am to worship, here I am to bow down down, here I am to say that you are God..."

If this were your last day, would you be satisfied with how you have lived it?

Jess