Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Is that what I am????

Peaceful....that is how my friend Lisa described me in a comment. Is that what I am?? I hope so. It's what I have strived for as long as I can remember. A peaceful home, a peaceful disposition. I don't like drama, cannot stand confrontation and loud arguments make me nauseous.

Why is this??? If someone were analyzing me they would probably say "it stems from something in your childhood" (said with a deep voice, not sure why but that's how I hear it my head). Maybe it does. I remember my parents arguing when I was little, I remember one instance where my dad threw a rolled up magazine or newspaper or something at my mom. I remember being put in the car and going to grandma's. Are these realy memories though???? Or are they exaggerations of an event or events that happened?

Whatever they are, they in no way change the way I feel about both my parents. I love them both dearly. I am grateful for their guidance and love as I grew up. Does dad still have a temper? Sure but it's seems differnt now, more muted. Again maybe it's because I'm no longer there 24 hours a day. I see that same temper, that same spirit rise up in me at times and I have to claim the blood of Jesus to keep it in check.

My mom is crier and I inherited that from her. We don't confront, we don't rock the boat, we just swallow it (whatever it may be at the time) until we explode in this fountain of tears that result from frustration, hurt and anger.

So back to peace. Peace to me equals quiet. A quiet, restful spirit. A place where one can rest (whether that is physically, mentally or emotionally). A place to recharge.

So Lisa, my dear friend, thank you for the compliment. I hope that I can continue to be that peaceful person to you. I love you, your love of life, your love of family, your love of God. Thank you for making me a part of your world.

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