Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Weight Loss Wednesday

So it's week one of weight loss Wednesday and I lost one pound. I'm a little disappointed because I felt that I had done better than that. However, it is almost that time of month and that last few days I have been HUNGRY. So we will see how this week goes.

It's late and I am just home from work. Headed to bed.....

It's an ugly word.....'s an ugly word. I always have associated jealousy with material things. Your friend buys a new house and it's exactly what you wanted, someone buys a new car and it's the one that you have been eyeing. I looked at it as being associated with something that could be purchased.
I've never considered myself a jealous person. Someone buys a new house, I appreciate the beauty of it but think "thank goodness I don't have to clean it, maintain it, etc." Someone buys a new car and I think "good for them, at least I don't have that payment". I never understood jealousy in a relationship. If you love someone and you know that they love you, why would you be jealous of them?
At least these were my thoughts until reading the chapter on jealousy in our weekly Bible Study book. I studied the chapter last night. Last night these words jumped out at me " We wonder why some women are so wise, poised and articulate. This one is pretty. That one has the perfect career. This one has such polite children. That one has so many friends." God made me realize that jealousy doesn't have to be about things that can be purchased. It doesn't matter if it's material or inmaterial. Jealousy goes hand and hand with covetousness.
I read that passage in our book and I realized "that's me!!" I look at other women and think " they are so elegant, they are so put together, everyone loves them" and I feel sorry for myself. It is a problem, a mood, and emotional inbalance that I can't ever remember not having. I want to be loved, I want to be accepted, I want to be the beautiful girl, the smart and funny girl, the one that everyone wants to include. So I try to over achieve to accomplish this. I sign up for everything. I don't say no when asked, I insert myself into conversations that have nothing to do with me thinking that this will fill that need. When in reality, I am loved. I have a wonderful circle of family and friends that have been and will be there for me. They enjoy ME. I also have a Heavenly Father who accepts me for me because He created me.
As I started typing this tonight, I also realized that I am jealous over the material things as well. God just smacked me in the forehead (it is still stinging a little--LOL) and made realize that even though I say things like "I wouldn't want to clean it or I wouldn't want the payment" that those words are a front for my true feelings. Feelings which are "it must be nice to be able to afford that, I wish I could spend money like that, etc." These feelings are unjustified and lead to bitterness.
We are each unique beings, created just the way God wanted us to be. In that same vein, we each have a unique path. For some, it's a paved sidewalk and for other's it's an overgrown trail. But on each of these paths, we have a guide if we will only rely on Him. Our guide has given us a map (His word) to follow and He is always there if we tend to lose our spot on the map. The path that someone else is on may look easier. It may look more enjoyable. But appearances can be deceiving. That paved sidewalk has cracks that can cause the walker to stumble while the overgrown trail provides shade from the heat. The paved sidewalk leaves the walker exposed to the elements and all those passing by. The overgrown trail can provide shelter and protection. It doesn't matter what your path may be, it's how you choose to perceive it.
Lord, help me to appreciate my path. Let me see the beauty in the simple things and the blessings that come with the simplicity. Help me to appreciate the me that you have created and accept the love that others offer me.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Longaberger For Sale

Since my seperation, I have taken a minimalist approach. If I don't use it, then I don't need it. My Longaberger collection has been a HUGE part of this. Since Longaberger is a collectible, the selling of some of these pieces has brought some much needed extra income.

I opened up my TV cabinet last night and found some four more baskets. They had a purpose and a use in my former house but do not now. I am selling these at 50% off their original price. They are all in great if not excellent condition. I accept cash, check, money order or PayPal.

This is the 2004 Hostess Greetings Set. The basket is 18LX14Wx8H with a red weave and swing handles. The set includes the basket, protector and striped liner. I am asking $100 for it. I LOVE this basket but it currently and has been just a decoration sitting on the bottom of my bakers rack.

This is the lunch box basket. This basket was woven in 2005, has swing handles and includes the protector. I am asking $30 for it.

This is the darning basket set. This basket is retired. It measures 10RD x 4H and includes the protector and an orchard park plaid liner. I am asking $30 for the set.

Finally this is a tea basket set. It includes protector and black liner. I am selling for $25.

Please send me an email to if you are interested.


Monday, October 19, 2009


I guess the Lord knows I have no willpower when it come to food. I made the decision on Thursday to join with others on Karen Ehman's blog ( in Weightloss Wednesdays. I am at my heaviest point and just can't do it anymore. My back hurts, I have no energy and it's something that I have to do for me. I casually watched what I ate Friday, Saturday and yesterday---although it was hard since I was working both jobs. Yesterday afternoon while at the Y, I was doing well. I had had a bowl of oatmeal for breakfast, a protein shake midmorning and a footlong turkey sandwich for lunch (I knew that I would be working through dinner). About four o'clock, a birthday party left and they stopped at the front desk to give me a piece of cake. I should have said no but it's cake!!!! It was just tiny sliver (I made sure of that) so I took it. Did I want it, not really. Was I hungry? Not really Did I eat it---you betcha. And then I started feeling sick. It started with a dull headache and I idiot you just ate straight carbs and sugar. I was reading a Good Housekeeping Magazine and came across an article called "Straying Fork Syndrome". It was about choosing the foods you really want instead of the ones that ambush you. At first I was skeptical about what the article would say but it really spoke to me. The author talks about food being one of two types--"hummers" and "beckoners". After reading the article, I realized that the cake was a beckoner. I didn't have a craving for that cake but it just looked so good I had to eat it. It beckoned me and I answered. I left work and went to Jeff's to do a load of laundry. I thought about what I wanted to eat, what really sounded good to me and I decided that I really wanted a BBQ Baked Potato. Since I was in Collinsville, I went to Bandana's and ordered one. It tasted SO good, was exactly what I wanted but the more I ate the more my head hurt.
So back to the opening of my blog where I said the Lord knows I have no willpower. That headache led to a VERY long night of throwing up---the cake, my wonderful BBQ Baked Potato, everything!!! About 3:30, after taking 800mg of ibuprofen, I fell asleep. I woke up this morning with a sore neck, a filthy bathroom and a stomach that is still rolling. So today, I am sipping water, eating crackers and saying "OK, I get it".
As I was driving in, I passed a swan on Highway 157. A SWAN!!! It was the oddest thing and I have no idea where it came from. Yet there it was just walking down the turn lane.

I started writing this yesterday morning but by afternoon was again feeling icky so I didn't finish it. I managed to stay at work until 5PM. As they saying goes "the show must go on" and we had outside appointments. As I was leaving I noticed a "pond" of sorts across the highway which is the result of construction. I guess this is where the swan was headed or came from.
I stopped by Dairy Queen for a plain cheeseburger ( my go to meal when I am sick as this is what mom/dad gave me when I was little and sick)and headed home. I laid on the couch drinking water and catching up on shows that I had recorded.
Today, my stomach is better but still not 100%, my head is no longer pounding but the ache has moved to my back. I guess it is working its way out of my body--I hope.

Friday, October 16, 2009


I am "borrowing" this idea from Ali Edwards blog

Outside My Window: Right now all is black except for the glow of the street light. Earlier today outside my office window I saw the reds and oranges on the leaves of the trees.

I Am Thinking: About the CPR Training I need to finish before work tomorrow, the Halloween Event at the YMCA tomorrow night, the bills that are due and the lack of money to pay them, the fact that 10 years ago today I was at my wedding reception.

I Am Thankful For: The fact that I have two jobs to help pay my bills, that my husband and I are on the path to a better relationship now that we are seperated, that he is willing to help me financially if I only ask (ahhh there's the hard part), that I have a friend who calls because she knows that today will be hard.

From The Kitchen: A Bake Fresh Pizza from Wal-Mart, flavored water and animal crackers

I Am Wearing: My red YMCA staff shirt, a long sleeve white T-shirt and jeans

I Am Creating: Nothing at this point but will be working on Halloween cards

I Am Going: To bed eventually

I Am Reading: Nothing at this moment. I just finished DeathSwatch by Laura Childs which is a scrapbooking mystery. I am waiting for the next one to come in at the library

I Am Hoping: To start my Halloween projects next week, that my costume for tomorrow night fits and to be debt free quickly

I Am Hearing: Random traffic on the street outside

Around The House: The news is on, my pizza is done, dishes are waiting to be washed and the breakfast bar needs to be cleaned off

One Of My Favorite Things: The sound of children's laughter, the head butt of a kitty cat, the sound of rain (OK that was more than one)

A Few Plans For Next Week: Church on Sunday morning, work at the YMCA Sunday afternoon/evening, an estimate on replacing a door in my apartment

A Random Photo:

Thursday, October 15, 2009

A Diaper Cake

I received a lovely thank you note from Katie Bruza today and realized that I had not posted my creation for her shower. Yes, I made this Diaper Cake. It was really fairly easy and a lot of fun to make. The other samples that I have seen used newborn diapers but I chose to use size 2 as babies seem to outgrown newborn stuff quickly. For about $20, I not only created a cute centerpiece but Katie ended up with 2 Jumbo Packs of diapers, a baby bottle, baby powder and a teddy bear.

Today was a good day. It's amazing how good your days can be when you take the time to refuel your soul and spirit midweek. I wasn't feeling at all well yesterday and contemplated just going home after work. Instead, I went to Bread Company for a cup of soup and then to church. Pastor Rob taught a great bible study and I was blessed afterwards by love and blessings of a friend.

I woke up this morning still not feeling on top of my game but gave it over to God and kept on working. After another bowl of soup for lunch, I was feeling much better. You've heard the saying "God Works in Mysterious Ways"? Well I think God worked through my wild rice and chicken soup---LOL

Tomorrow is Boss' Day, so I am stopping at the Cupcakery for a little sweet goodness. I am thinking a Peanut Butter/Chocolate for Tim and I am not sure yet on what to get Mary (my YMCA boss).

I am grateful today for the fact that I have a job (two in fact), a roof over my head, food in pantry, gas in my vehicle, friends that are like family and family that are like friends.