Tuesday, June 8, 2010

I AM

OK, I am going to do this although it is a very hard exercise for me. I have been encouraged to at least try by Melissa Taylor (http://melissataylor.org/)


I am the daughter of two wonderful parents.

I wonder what it would be like to not have to worry about money.

I hear so much negativity and doubt

I see families that love each other and then children that are nothing more than material possessions. I see chaos amidst the calm.

I want happiness, contentment, peace and confidence. I want to be debt free.

I am scared, confused, overwhelmed

I pretend that everything is fine. I put on the "happy face" and go through life with a smile while inside I am screaming.

I feel alone, sometimes abandandoned, yet often times I feel love from unexpected places

I touch others, hopefully

I worry about not being able to pay the bills, about being evicted from my apartment, about not meeting everyone's expectations of me

I cry not so much as I used to though I still cry. I cry when I am angry, when I can't find the right words. Medication has helped this crying problem that I have had :>)

I am a nurturer, a care-giver, an animal lover

I understand that not everyone thinks like I do (but I wish they would :>) )

I say ....not sure on this one. Someone will have to help me out.

I dream ….lately I have been dreaming of those I have loved that I have passed away. My grandpa, my mother-in-law, my first true love

I try to please everyone in hopes that they will like me

I hope that I can be the woman who makes her parents proud

I am Jessica Jan Smith Budd.

Okay...this was very, very hard for me. When Melissa posted her daughter's answer's yesterday I read the questions and thought "I can't answer those". Then today, Melissa posted her answers and challenged us to do the same. As I answered, I didn't think. I just typed what popped into my head. So I guess that makes these answers brutally honest. I would love to hear your feedback on my answers and how YOU see me. Plus, I would love to hear your answers about yourself.

Take a moment, reflect on yourself (even though it is hard) and see where your heart really is. After answering these questions, I am reminded that I am blessed. How am I blessed????
  • I have two wonderful parents who raised me to know and love God
  • I have two jobs that allow me to work with people and help solve their problems
  • I have a wonderful boss whose family is like my own
  • I have a wonderful church family
  • I have shelter and a landlord who understands when the rent payment isn't always on time
  • I have an exhusband who doesn't hate me and that still pays for my health insurance/medical needs
  • I have a best friend that I don't talk to for months yet we can still pick up right where we left off
  • I have seen the miracles that God can perform in my niece Sofie and my friend June
  • I have seen God provide when I thought that I was at the end of my rope
  • I have a wonderful Sunday School class of first and second graders

Count your blessings today....I bet you will be suprized by what you have compared to what you don't.

Blessings

Jessica

3 comments:

Melissa Taylor said...

Jessica,

Awesome!!! I'm so glad you did this. It is hard isn't it??? It really made me think about things I wasn't planning on thinking about. Deep stuff.

I've added you to my prayer list today :) You have blessed me today, thanks!

Teresa @ Grammy Girlfriend said...

You did a wonderful job....and I admire your brave answers.

Julie said...

This exercise was hard but I am so glad that I did it.

You did an awesome job and I love your honesty! Thanks for sharing a part of you with all of us!

Julie