Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Do you ever feel like you are in the tiniest boat upon the stormiest sea? You can't put your finger on it but there's a unsettled feeling around you--not necessarily just one thing but a myriad of things and feelings that are causing your boat to rock. You hunker down and keep hoping that the seas will calm and your little boat will go back to joyfully skimming along the water. When in reality, we need to be like the fisherman on the boat in the Bible who cried "LORD SAVE US".

Are you, like me, hunkering down in your boat hoping that the storm will end? Have you, like me, forgotten that our Heavenly father can calm the storm if we would but ask?

It hit me smack dab in the middle of my forehead last night. My dad went back home yesterday after visiting us for the week. He had been such a help and such a joy to Momma while he was here. My day at work was tension filled---so many clients needed so many things ASAP and we were at the mercy of other brokers. I arrived home to find just Momma. She was weak, her nose was bleeding, she was frustrated and she was depressed. Her platlets were at 11 yesterday which means another transfusion today. Jeff was no where to be found and when I asked her where he was she said that she thought he had gone to Home Depot.

I putzed around the house feeding the dog, emptying the dishwasher, going through the mail and still no Jeff. Finally I called his cell phone and he said that he was on his way home. He came through the door with a downtrodden look on his face. I asked if he was OK and he waved the question off. He went downstairs to the family room and I followed. I asked about dinner and he said that he didn't care. All night he projected a cloud of unhappiness.

I sat upstairs with Momma, watching TV and doing word find puzzles. In my mind, I was running through scenarios trying to figure out what could have made him so depressed. I turned the page in my word find book and the subject of the puzzle was the book of Ruth.

I paused and said to Momma how much I enjoyed this particular book of the Bible. I felt God urging me to pick up my Bible and read Ruth's story again. So I completed the word find, picked up my Bible off the shelf and curled up in my bed to read her story.

Ruth was married to one of Naomi's sons. Naomi's husband and sons passed away and Naomi urged her daughter-in-laws to return to their people. Ruth, however, refused to leave Naomi. She says " your people shall be my people, your lands my lands, and your Gods my Gods. Where you lead I will follow". Ruth was dedicated to the well being of her mother-in-law.

I felt like God smacked me in the head and said ---you are doing what I want you to do. You are on the path that I have chosen for you. Your marriage may not be full of happiness and joy but I brought you down this path for this moment in time. He knew that Momma would need this special care at this moment in her life. He knew that I was the one He had chosen to provide that care. I closed my eyes and breathed a prayer that God would give me wisdom and that I would always remember that He is in control.

My boat is still rocking this morning but I know that I am safe because God is directing my path.

If you feel like your boat is rocking, take some time to listen--really listen---to what God maybe saying to you. Even in the hard times, God has hand upon you and if you let him He will direct you to where you are supposed to be.


Alteredego said...

I pray that all is ok with you and your family. If you need to talk or need to meet up just let me know. If you need anything, I am here. I am thinking about you.

Amy P said...

Wow -- I just came to a similar conclusion in my life. I am doing a Bible study right now and the facilitator said last Wednesday, "Whatever your lot in life right now, it is where you were meant to be for this Bible study." It touched me so much since I needed to hear that.