My Reading Stack

I was perusing MaryBeth Whalen's blog tonight (http://www.marybethwhalen.com/) and she linked to this site http://www.aholyexperience.com/2010/06/summer-booklist-whats-up-on-stack.html. So I thought I would let you know what is on my stack right now.



I just finished reading "Dark Fever" by Karen Moning. Some people are into vampires, I'm into fairy or Fae. This book is the first of a series recommended to my be a friend. The story is about an all-American girl named MacKayla who goes to Dublin after her sister is murdered there. The book was full of twists and turns and the references to Fae were spot on with other series that I have read. I finished the book wishing I had the second one so that I could continue the story. A request to the library is in order.



"Walking on Broken Glass" by Christa Allan---From Fae to alcoholism. I just started this book tonight and here is my one sentence synopsis of the first few pages. A woman is forced to face her alcoholism when she is confronted by a good friend. Here is the synopsis from the back of the book "Leah Thornton's Life, like her Southern Living home, has great curb appeal. But a paralyzing encounter with a can of frozen apple juice in the supermarket shatters the facade, forcing her to admit that all is not as it appears. When her best friend gets in Leah's face about her refusal to deal with her life, Leah is forced to make a decision. Can this brand-conscious socialite walk away from the country clubg into 28 days of rehab? Can she leave what she has now to gain back what she needs? Joy, sadness, pain and a new strength converge testing her marriage, her friendship and her faith."



"i am not but i know I AM" by Louie Giglio---I won this book from Wendy Blight (http://www.wendyblight.com/). I have been reading it at night before I go to bed. It is about how the story(life) isn't really about us but about God. I have only read a couple of chapters but it is because I keep going back to reread. He talks about how so often we get caught up in "us"....our day, our life, that we are like a horse with blinders on. We forget to stop, look up, look around and take notice of the main character in everyone's story---GOD. I am excited to continue this book....now if I can just get past the first couple of chapters. LOL



"Mayflower" by Nathaniel Philbrick----Again, a book that was recommended to me. My friend Julianne was telling me how she had bought this book for her daughter and that it was on Border's Clearance for $5. Its the real story of the Pilgrims and their arrival in New England, not the happy "Charlie Brown's Thanksgiving" that we have all grown up with. Here is a line from the synopsis on the back "The promise of the First Thanksgiving had given way to the horror of total war". I am intrigued to read this as my friend Kelly, who is a history professor, always said that just once she would like to see Pilgrims and Indians with sad faces instead of the happy "everything is perfect" faces that they are always portrayed with. She said only then would it reflect actual history.



"The Way of the Heart" by Henri J. M. Nowen---I decided to check this book out after it was referenced in "The Feast of St. Bertie". The book is inspired by the teachings of St. Anthony and discusses clearing a spiritual path by using Solitude, Silence and Prayer.



"Alice I Have Been" by Melanie Benjamin---This book caught my eye as I was entering the library to return/pick up. This is the story of the grown-up Alice in Wonderland.

And so, that is my stack at the moment. I would continue as there is another series that I have in my stack but Shadow is demanding that we go to bed.

What are you reading???? Any good recommendations??? Please share.

Blessings

Book Review

So I have just finished reading "Latter-Day Cipher" by Latayne C. Scott. I wasn't sure when I first started reading if I was going to enjoy it or not. However, once I got into it I was hooked and the book threw me a loop at the end. I closed the book saying "what???? no, that isn't really what just happened".

The book takes place in Salt Lake City, UT. It involves a female journalist who is sent there to cover the murder of prominent female Mormon. The journalist has a cousin in Salt Lake City who is also a Mormon. The first murder becomes one of many. The journalist is now on a journey to not only cover the story but also to try and figure out the ancient Mormon laws and ways of the church. As her journey leads her to discovery both in the murders and in her faith, her cousin and his family are also searching.

I am not Mormon nor do I know anyone that is. However I found this book fascinating in the beliefs and rituals of the Mormons. The author was a Mormon for ten years so I am trusting that much of what she wrote is factual. As a murder mystery, this was a very well written one. Yet it also brings up the question of "why do you believe what you believe". This isn't an "in your face" Christian book but it is one that will make both the believer and non-believer stop and think.

I AM

OK, I am going to do this although it is a very hard exercise for me. I have been encouraged to at least try by Melissa Taylor (http://melissataylor.org/)


I am the daughter of two wonderful parents.

I wonder what it would be like to not have to worry about money.

I hear so much negativity and doubt

I see families that love each other and then children that are nothing more than material possessions. I see chaos amidst the calm.

I want happiness, contentment, peace and confidence. I want to be debt free.

I am scared, confused, overwhelmed

I pretend that everything is fine. I put on the "happy face" and go through life with a smile while inside I am screaming.

I feel alone, sometimes abandandoned, yet often times I feel love from unexpected places

I touch others, hopefully

I worry about not being able to pay the bills, about being evicted from my apartment, about not meeting everyone's expectations of me

I cry not so much as I used to though I still cry. I cry when I am angry, when I can't find the right words. Medication has helped this crying problem that I have had :>)

I am a nurturer, a care-giver, an animal lover

I understand that not everyone thinks like I do (but I wish they would :>) )

I say ....not sure on this one. Someone will have to help me out.

I dream ….lately I have been dreaming of those I have loved that I have passed away. My grandpa, my mother-in-law, my first true love

I try to please everyone in hopes that they will like me

I hope that I can be the woman who makes her parents proud

I am Jessica Jan Smith Budd.

Okay...this was very, very hard for me. When Melissa posted her daughter's answer's yesterday I read the questions and thought "I can't answer those". Then today, Melissa posted her answers and challenged us to do the same. As I answered, I didn't think. I just typed what popped into my head. So I guess that makes these answers brutally honest. I would love to hear your feedback on my answers and how YOU see me. Plus, I would love to hear your answers about yourself.

Take a moment, reflect on yourself (even though it is hard) and see where your heart really is. After answering these questions, I am reminded that I am blessed. How am I blessed????

• I have two wonderful parents who raised me to know and love God
• I have two jobs that allow me to work with people and help solve their problems
• I have a wonderful boss whose family is like my own
• I have a wonderful church family
• I have shelter and a landlord who understands when the rent payment isn't always on time
• I have an exhusband who doesn't hate me and that still pays for my health insurance/medical needs
• I have a best friend that I don't talk to for months yet we can still pick up right where we left off
• I have seen the miracles that God can perform in my niece Sofie and my friend June
• I have seen God provide when I thought that I was at the end of my rope
• I have a wonderful Sunday School class of first and second graders

Count your blessings today....I bet you will be suprized by what you have compared to what you don't.

Blessings

Jessica

Book Review--"The Feast of St. Bertie"

I have been reading A LOT lately. I read for at least a half hour before bed and any other time I can squeeze it in. In the past, I have "reviewed" some of these books. Lately though it seems that time has gotten away and I have read and returned (to the library). However, I just finished a book that I have to write about it and one that is on my "must purchase list".

The book???? "The Feast of St. Bertie" by Kathleen Poppa I know, the title leaves you thinking food, a buffet, a loaded table. But the book is actually a feast for the soul. As I was reading, I was reminded of "Eat, Pray, Love" for several reasons. This book, like "Eat, Pray, Love"' is one that I think you have to be in the right frame of mind for when you read it. I remember that I put "Eat, Pray, Love" down several times until one day I picked it up and the book just fit. I was ready for it. This book was the same way for me. I was in the right frame of mind for it.

I am in the mind set of rebuilding, of searching, of longing. The main character in this book is going through those same things. The books starts with the main character returning home from her husband's funeral to find her home in flames. She has a grown son that she hasn't seen in months who doesn't even know that his father has died. She has a best friend who loves her but can be pushy, in charge and sometimes self-centered. And the main character does not lack for money. You learn so much about this woman in the book but not only her but those that are important to her. She decides to follow her heart and goes on a journey of the soul. The journey that she takes not only affects her but those in her life. She sees the beauty that she missed before, she learns what a "real" relationship with Christ is all about, and she finds her worth.

There was a line from the book that stayed with me. "There is something holy about sorrow". How can sorrow be holy? But it can. Tears and pain force us to bare our soul. They force us to be "real". When we really, truly hurt there are no fake smiles, happy facades, no "I'm OK". I remember a few months ago when I had food poisoning. I was SO sick, I couldn't stop throwing up and I was scared. I was alone. I called on close friends for help. Were I healthy, I would never ask for help. I would fight my way through, I would do it on my own. But in pain, we ask for help. When our soul is in pain, there is a "friend that sticketh closer than a brother". He is there to hold us, to comfort us, to love us. He loves us in our nakedness, in our realness, with all of our mistakes and flaws. Remember when Jesus was in the Garden before he was crucified? He wept and in his sorrow there was holiness.

2009 was a year of sorrow for me. All that I knew and that I thought I needed was gone. I was no longer a caretaker of my mother-in-law, I was no longer a wife, I no longer had a house, I had to put my cat down, I had to sell things that I once thought were valuable to pay bills. In that sorrow though I found holiness. I found that instead of taking care of others, I could and should take care of myself. I found that I didn't need a house to have a home. I found that material possessions do not define happiness. I found out that my friends love me for me, not for anything I have done or could do. I found out that God always provides and in my aloneness He is and was there. I found out that God is faithful, He never leaves nor forsakes.

And all of that, I realized after reading this book. Kathleen Poppa is a woman of God and I am thankful for her willingness to allow Him to use her. This book will be on my bookshelf and I will read it again.

Blessings

A homeless man

This morning on my way into work, I passed a man on the sidewalk. It was pouring down rain and cool. This man was bundled up under several coats carrying his possessions in trash bags to protect them from the rain. It wasn't the first time I had noticed this man. You see, my dad pointed him out to me several weeks ago.
My mom had brought up the movie "Blind Side". After watching it, dad said that there was man like that in my town. At first, I thought "who is he talking about?" and then I saw him. The man with the plastic Wal-Mart sacks (blue ones) who is always walking in front of Village Hall. How many times had I passed him and not really noticed him? How many times had I passed and just assumed that he was just someone waiting for the bus? This morning he was walking quickly, heading toward the highway and I wonder if he was hoping to find a ride or if he was just headed for a dry spot under the overpass. I have thought about him a lot off and on today. What is his story? I may never know but I do know that the next time I see him, I am going to pull over and offer him a cup of coffee or a soda. I am going to step out of my comfort zone because that is what my both earthly and Heavenly fathers would do. They would offer this man some form of kindness.

As I sit here typing this, I wonder if my dad has already spoken to this man. If he has already reached out to him. Somehow I think he has.

Who has Jesus put in your path that you haven't taken the time to notice? Is there someone that you have passed every day but haven't stopped to really notice them? Be Jesus to someone today.....reach out to them with kindness and love. We may be the only light that they will see.

Blessings

Today...

ast night was a good night. I was able to leave the office a few minutes early. I drove home in the drizzle and pulled in my parking spot to find that the wind had blown a plastic lawn chair into my flower bed. Thankfully no plants where hurt during the landing of the chair. Shadow was, of course, waiting on the other side of the door. She wanted to go out but the weather said otherwise....wet and cool. Not a good day for cat/dog to be outside. I heated up some left-over chili-mac and watched a Food Network Challenge while eating dinner.

After dinner, I went to Pottery Hollow to meet up with Becky and Brittany. Becky and I both needed to finish our plate "that would never end" :>) I was so thankful for Brittany's help and guidance. I think I finally have a plate that won't go into the trash.

From there it was back home to watch Dancing with the Stars and to cast my votes. I voted for Chad and Erin. I didn't think Chad did as well as Erin,Nichole or Evan but I am hoping he stays at least one more week and Neecy goes home. I was feeling good when I went to bed. It was storming, so I grabbed a book and curled up in bed with Shadow.

3:45AM---I woke up to another headache. I got up, took 800mg of ibuprofen and moved to the couch. Shadow followed and curled up on the pillow next to me.

7:00AM---my alarm goes off. No, I can't quite move yet. So I reset the alarm to 8AM.

8:00AM---my alarm goes off for the second time. I lay there until Shadow starts nipping my fingers and toes. With a groan I roll off the couch, it is 8:15AM. I feed Shadow and head for the shower. After a hot shower, a bowl of oatmeal and about five minutes of play time with Shadow, I head out the door. I arrive at work at 9:00AM on the dot.

Today, the sun is shining and the temp is in the 70's. A totally different day than yesterday. I downloaded this photo onto my Facebook page today:


It will probably embarrass Mason but it is one of my favorite photos. I actually
have it sitting on my desk at work now.

11:41pm----I just pulled brownies from the oven for Tim's birthday tomorrow. It has been a full evening. I worked until about 6:15PM when Jeff picked me up for dinner. We went to a mexican resteraunt in honor of his mom. Jeff even ordered guacamole just as she used to. We talked about her and how she would order just guacamole and chips....just that and she was completely happy. After dinner, I went to Famous Shoes to buy a pair of black dress shoes since my current pair have a broken strap. A stop at Wal-Mart for milk and cereal and then I was home.
I caught up on Dancing with the Stars to see who went home (Neecy) while dusting the living room and vacuuming. I watched Biggest Loser while making the brownies and doing the dishes. I was sad to see Sunshine go home as she was my favorite and I had hoped she would make it to the final four.

So now, the brownies are on the island cooling. Shadow is playing with a bottle ring and I am getting ready to go to bed. Just a few minutes ago, Shadow was in the window which was open. I'm not sure what showed up outside but she jumped out of the window hissing, her tail a bottle brush. I reached over to pet her and she hissed at me so whatever it was must have been scary. I closed the window and the curtain....no scariness needed around here.

It has been a day of blessings and sunshine......

YAWNNNNNNNNN

I am so tired I feel as if my bones are melting. I think my spine has turned into jello and it's all I can do to sit here at my desk. It's 4:08 PM. We close the office in one hour. Then Tim and I head back to his house to load up the vehicles for Kid Mania tomorrow. We have to be at the high school at 5AM, so needless to say I am hoping for a VERY early night.

It's been my birthday week, which in a way, I guess is why I am tired. It's been a good week but yesterday and today I have been SO cranky. I have felt like I was on the verge of a melt down at any minute. I'm going to blame it on lack of sleep. Monday night I cleaned the apartment and just vegged out with dad. Tuesday night I had dinner at Los Tres Amigos with dad and Jeff. Wednesday night we went to Gene and June's for dinner. Last night I worked until 10PM. So a lot of eating and working....seems to be a standard for me lately.

Next week is not going to be any better as I work Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday night until 10, Friday night until 9 and Saturday 830am to 8pm. Poor Shadow is going to be so lonely since Dad is going back home Sunday.

When I got out of the shower this morning, I could hear Dad talking to Shadow. Dad was saying "Grandpa, you just need to find a job up here so you can stay with me and momma and I won't have to be lonely". Funny how we express our thoughts through animals.

I received a lot of birthday wishes on Facebook, heard from some people I didn't expect to and didn't hear from some that I thought for sure would make some type of contact. I only received one birthday card this year which I found strange for some reason. I guess the older you get, people feel that it's no longer needed. Cards bring smiles though no matter what age you are. Even just simple "I'm thinking about you's" can bring smiles. I had two clients bring unexpected smiles to me on my birthday by simply telling me how much they appreciated me.

So my challenge to you is to do the unexpected for someone. Send them a card, give them a call, whatever. Just step out of your daily routine and acknowledge someone who means something to you, who has done something special for you, etc. The blessing will come back to you I promise.