Fairy Wishes

Try Harder

2012-01-12T14:46:00.002-06:00

Today is a try harder day.
As I sit at my desk, looking out at the wind blowing an American flag straight out, snow swirling about in eddies, I am thankful for the warmth of my office. I am trying hard to remain focused on the tasks at hand....phone calls that need to be returned, documents to print and mail, claims to be followed up on....and my eyes just keep returning to the window and the outside.
I woke up at 8:47AM. I must have been sleeping hard because the alarm clock, which was set for 7AM, was impatiently beeping. Shadow and Ghost were on either side of me, staring me down. I groaned as I realized that I was supposed to be at work in 13 minutes and I wasn't going to make it. I had to try hard not to let panic set in.
I got up, poured myself a glass of juice, got dressed (no time for a shower this morning :>( ) and went out to start the car. In my not quite awake haze, I opened the car door not thinking about the fact that it was covered in snow. All that beautiful powder dropped right into my passenger seat. I had to try hard not to grumble. I took the window scraper/brush and brushed it all off. Back inside, I brushed my teeth, grabbed a Laura bar and my juice and headed out into the morning. I had to try to not to panic as I was late and the roads were not cleared. A quick message to Tim to tell him I was on my way but late and I started the journey in.
It was stop and go, some places fine and others still pristine with fallen snow. I arrived safely, thankful that my normal commute is only about 15 minutes unlike that of most I know. Waiting on my desk was a cup of hot chocolate. I had to try not to cry as that simple act of kindness meant so much on such a try harder morning.
So it is now 3PM. The flow of the day has been steady.....phone calls, claims and normal office routine. I'm thankful that the number of claims has been at a minimum and that those I care about are safe. I'm thankful that my daddy taught me to keep at least a half a tank of gas in the car and because of this I put gas in last night. I'm thankful that I had a pair of snow boots to put on to keep my feet dry, even though the snow isn't very deep. I'm thankful that a month ago, I had two new tires put on the front of my car. I'm thankful that on try harder days, I have a Heavenly Daddy who gently reminds me that the attitude of the day is a choice. I can choice to let the events dictate my attitude or I can choose to remain positive and try harder.
The day has not been an easy one. Yet, I am trying harder to face each unexpected twist with a smile and to find the blessing.

Yes Mom I've Updated My Blog

2011-01-18T23:04:00.002-06:00

Hard to believe, I know.....however I am home tonight and I am not past the point of exhaustion. I feel like I actually accomplished a few things tonight. One load of laundry was washed, dried and put away. The dishes were all washed. I vacuumed the living/dining room floor. I made a VERY simple birthday card for Colin....only a week late. And I made a batch of gluten free pumpkin muffins.

I had pumpkin left over in the fridge from when I made a pie at Christmas. It had not yet molded so I thought I had better use it up fast. I used raw sugar instead of regular cane sugar. As the muffins cooled on the rack, Shadow decided to knock one on the floor. I, stupidly, had put them on "her " counter under the pass through. I used the five second rule and tasted it and they just don't taste the same or as good as my earlier batches. I'm not sure if its the change in sugar or maybe the pumpkin wasn't as good as I thought it was :>( Oh well, I will still eat them because it's something sweet to eat that won't cause my lips to swell up like I am from, well I'm not going to go there.

Tomorrow is a long day, so posting is not probable. I work from 9 to 9 tomorrow. The forecast is for snow showers and I am praying they hold off until I am home. If I wake up to 6 inches that's fine, I just don't want to drive home in 6 inches.

Today is day 18 of reading in my Chronological Bible. Jacob is dying and Jospeh takes his two sons to Jacob to be blessed. I have realized for the first time that Jacob as the younger son stole his brother's blessing. Jacob then blessed the younger before the older with Joseph's sons. This reminds me of the passage in the New Testatement which reads "that the last shall be first and the first shall be last".
I also read that Jacob describes Simeon and Levi as violent and angry. But weren't the Levite's priests?
I find it sad that Jacob was not buried with Rachel yet at the same time comforted that he was taken home. Isn't that what we all want when that time comes, to go home? This is true both in a factual and spiritual manner. I also find it comforting to know that God always has a plan. Because Jacob was in Egypt, his body was able to be embalmed and taken back to the place of his people.
Reading this story of Joseph again has reminded me that even though we may not understand why when we go through hardships, trials, troubles, pain and hurt God always has a reason and uses that low for something positive.
Today I am thankful for that I am employed, that I have remained flu free so far, that I have food in my pantry, a roof over my head and heat to keep me warm.
Blessings.

Monkey, Big T, Slap

2010-11-15T21:13:00.003-06:00

I didn't drown!!!! Although it was rather comical as I tried to find a swimming suit among my clothes. I had two.....one that has been worn once and one that I wore maybe three years ago. I took them both with me. The new one was WAY too big. The old one fit but it was SO thin and as I would come up out of the water I had to grab the top to keep from flashing everyone around me. So a new suit is on the shopping list once I have money.

The instructor started me out on my stomach using a noodle. We worked on kicking and then added arms. I did OK on that and was soon able to do it without the noodle. We moved to the basic backstroke which is where the title of this blog post comes in. I put the noodle behind me, stretch out on my back and bring me arms in like a monkey, out like a big T and slap my thighs while flutter kicking. This propels me through the water. I did it but this is something I am going to have to work on. It's a trust thing is what the instructor says. The instuctor told me I did a very good job. Lesson 2 is Wednesday.

Today was a VERY long day, Monday's usually are. I was up at 6:30, took my shower, ate breakfast, read a bit of the Bible and did the dishes (they didn't get done last night). I walked into work right at 9AM and the phone was already ringing. It stayed constant all day long one phone call, one client after another. I got off work and went to Wal-Mart to get Shadow food. Thank goodness Mom had given me cash as the checking account is in the negative and payday isn't until Friday. I had enough to get a small bag of food for the baby. Speaking of the baby, here is one of my favorite pictures:

Tomorrow night I am meeting some ladies from church for "game night". I'm really looking forward to it. Hope you have a great Tuesday.

Blessings

One Step Forward, Two Steps Back

2010-11-14T20:26:00.003-06:00

Or in the case of this blog....One day forward and two days back.

Tomorrow night I am taking a swim lesson from the aquatics director at the YMCA. I had scheduled with her a couple of weeks ago but cancelled due to money. Pam (the director) came in tonight and told me that there was no charge for the lesson. So I scheduled with her for tomorrow night. I had mentioned doing this to Dad while he was here and he replied "SWIMMING LESSON! You already know how to swim....Brenda's pool remember?" Yes I remember Brenda's pool and I remember the fact that it was only five feet deep. I could stand up when I was tired of pretending to swim. I love being in the water but have no comfort level past five feet. Plus Carson and Delaney are fish and if I were ever with them in a deep water situation and something happened....well that's just one of many reasons.

Today I worked. I wasn't originally scheduled but a coworker wanted off to spend the day with her parents. I can use the extra money right now for preventive maintenance on the car, so I took her shift. It wasn't a hard day....in fact, I did very little but monitor NFL scores in between the handful of customers. I was tired though so I was glad for the quietness of the afternoon. I didn't make it to Sunday School or church this morning. I was up at 6:30 thanks to Shadow (she is still on her and dad's routine). I opened the door for her even though the morning was brisk, brushed my teeth, took some sinus medicine and crawled back into bed. I was up again at 9:30 but still felt groggy and had a slight headache. So I stayed on the couch reading a book with Shadow curled up on me. It was rather sad this morning. Lucy was laying outside my front door...waiting for dad. Shadow kept getting up and going to the back door expecting him to come in that way. They too have gotten used to having him here and miss him.

Friday night I saw Carson and Delaney at the YMCA. They were there for their climbing class. Carson and I started talking football as usual and I told him that I picked the Buffalo Bills to beat the Lions. He responded "no way, they are 0 and 9". I asked him if wanted to bet on it and he said that he bet me $5. Well, the Bills beat the Lions today by 2 points. I called him from work and he said in a very dejected voice "I know. I'm not paying you though." I asked him why he wasn't going to pay me and he replied because he didn't want to. I had told him on Friday that I would come over to his house tonight when I got off work so we could watch the Sunday night game. I stopped by after work but he wouldn't come up out of the downstairs family room. Poor guy was embarressed. Tim told me to go talk to Carson and I said that I was just going to go home. I understood how the little guy felt and didn't want to make him any more uncomfortable. Well, Carson called me to apologize and said that he wasn't going to gamble every again. LOL

I took Dad to Nashville yesterday. He had been with me a little over two weeks and I have to say I miss him. I had gotten used to meeting me in the driveway when I would get home from work, a kiss on the head good night before bed. He was SO relaxed while he was here and I am glad that I can provide this place of serenity for him. I know that Mom and Ollie missed him as well. Speaking of Ollie, I was downloading pictures off my camera today and came across this one:

Ollie was dancing for his peanut butter filled Kong. Sometimes I think he should be in the circus. LOL

Well, I have one load of laundry in the dryer and one in the washer. I have a small batch of dishes to wash up and the Sunday night football game is going into half time. Shadow is asleep in her tree and I have plans to be in bed asleep by 10pm. Tomorrow morning will be here before I know it and the normalacy of life will start all over again.

Hope you have a blessed week.

Saturday Something

2010-09-11T21:44:00.002-05:00

It's almost 10pm.....I can hear the crickets outside, Lucy (the neighbor's dog) has stopped by for her treat, Shadow is playing with a plastic ring and I am ending my day.
I didn't make it to the exercise class. I decided last night as I was getting ready for bed that I would not set an alarm for Saturday mornings unless I was scheduled to work. Saturday would/will be my day to sleep until I am ready to get up. Shadow woke me around 5:30. I got up to feed her, open the door and curled up on the couch. I woke up again around 7 and went from the couch back to my bed and I slept until 9:30.
I piddled around once I was up. I made breakfast (oats and brown sugar), watched some HGTV and finally got myself ready. I went to St. Mary's to watch Carson in his 3 on 3 tournament. Unfortunately his "team" didn't do that well but it looked like they had fun. From their I went to Dierbergs to pick up a few things. I couldn't buy a lot as money is tight but I literally had NOTHING for breakfast or snacks. Let me tell you....being gluten free can be tough but things are starting to become more accessible, being gluten and soy free is even harder but being gluten, soy and corn free is almost impossible. I stood staring at a half a wall of "natural chips" and could not have ANY of them. If they were gluten free, they had corn. In addition to the challenge of finding food is the cost of it. I have been itching to bake and have found a couple of receipes that I would like to try. They call for almond flour. A small bag of almond flour is $10.99. Are you kidding me????? I can't afford to be gluten, soy, corn and dairy free. I bought some watermelon spears (which I later found out were past their prime), a package of rice cakes, a box of cereal, 2 Lara bars and almond milk and spent $30. That wasn't even close to half what I have written down on my grocery list. At this rate I am going to be super skinny, not from the diet but from the fact that I can't afford the diet.
It was a quiet afternoon/evening at the Y. I worked 5.5 hours and did one transaction. The rest of my time was spent either cleaning or doing word search puzzles. But I was being paid to be there so I am not complaining. I am thankful for the blessing of this second job.
So, now I am going to get ready for bed and read a bit. I am very thankful for the quietness of my life right now.
Blessings

Funday Friday

2010-09-10T21:23:00.002-05:00

Happy Friday!!!!
As Laura nee Meinhardt said on her Facebook wall---this has been the longest shortest week ever!!!
I opened the front door this morning to find a grey sky, rain and cool air. I started the day with a bowl of oatmeal and brown sugar....organic of course. It was a busy day at work, which was fine with me as it makes the day go by fast. Even though I was good at breakfast it was all downhill from there.
Lunch consisted of four toasted ravioli and a large salad with grilled chicken from Bella Milano. For those of you not familiar with the Bella salad let me just tell you it is NOT free anything. It is not gluten free, dairy free, soy. BUT it is big on flavor. It's lettuce, cheese (not sure if it's mozzarella, provolone or what), prosciutto and their house dressing. The toasted ravioli are breaded in who knows what. It was not on my approved list but it was GOOD. My lips are now tingling and red as a result.
From the insurance office it was to the Y for my three hour shift. I hadn't worked in over a week so I felt like I was starting at ground zero but the knowledge came back quickly. During my three hours, I had cinnamon twists from Taco Bell. Bad, I know.
I am home now and have brown rice in the cooker and I will add chicken to steam as well. One day of badness is about all my lips and I can tolerate.
There were some events that happened today that made appreciate my simple life. I am thankful that life is not complicated, that I can make a decision when it needs to be made and that when I am home it is peaceful and serene.
Tomorrow will be busy but not overwhelming. I have an exercise class at 9AM, Carson has a 3-on-3 tournament and I work at 2:30. Sunday is church and Delaney's horse show.
Shadow is at the screen door....her normal spot now....and I am again curled up with a blanket on the couch. Life is good.........

It's Not Official But......

2010-09-09T19:57:00.002-05:00

It's not official but fall is here. How do I know? Last night there was the smell of wood smoke in the air. Tonight is the first official NFL game of the season---Minnesota vs New Orleans. I am hoping the Saints win as I cannot stand Bret Favre the drama queen. I heard my first flock of geese fly over the apartment. The air is cool and it is a night like this that I miss hot cocoa with marshmallows. Yes, I can substitute hot tea with honey but it's just not the same thing.

This week has been SO long and I can't wait for it to end. Monday was Labor Day which meant no work that day but I've made up for it every other day. Tuesday I was at work by 8:15AM and worked until 5:30pm. Becky brought us lunch from Wang Gang and I had a steak from Lotta Watta Creek that night. I was good with the steak and baked potatoe but I caved and ate the cheese on my salad (I did take off the croutons). I returned library books and came home to mop the kitchen floor. Shadow was not at all happy that she had been alone all day and most of the evening. Yesterday, I was supposed to meet a friend at 8AM so that she could pick up two of my baskets that she purchased and give me the money for them. I ran into construction on the way to the office and was ten minutes late. She had already left as she had an 8:20 appointment. So I was at work at 8:10 and worked until 5:30pm. It was a busy day of people making payments, reinstating policies and me trying to work my way through the piles on my desk. After work, Rachel came over and gave me a mani/pedi. It was nice relaxation break. Her son is back in London after serving in Afghanistan so she is a happy momma right now. After she left, my stomach started hurting. Not an "oww" kind of hurt but a "I need to throw up" feeling. I didn't sleep well last night and then today at work I still didn't feel well. I ate a Laura bar and a Low Carb bowl from Hardee's....that's it. I'm just not hungry.
It's a quiet night at home....I could be unpacking boxes, cleaning, or so many other things but I'm not. I am curled up in an afghan watching football, enjoying the cool evening air coming in through the screen door and watching Shadow stare into the darkness of the night. It's good to be home and it's been awhile since I have been able to say that.

Go Saints!!!!

My Reading Stack

2010-06-12T22:56:00.002-05:00

I was perusing MaryBeth Whalen's blog tonight (http://www.marybethwhalen.com/) and she linked to this site http://www.aholyexperience.com/2010/06/summer-booklist-whats-up-on-stack.html. So I thought I would let you know what is on my stack right now.

I just finished reading "Dark Fever" by Karen Moning. Some people are into vampires, I'm into fairy or Fae. This book is the first of a series recommended to my be a friend. The story is about an all-American girl named MacKayla who goes to Dublin after her sister is murdered there. The book was full of twists and turns and the references to Fae were spot on with other series that I have read. I finished the book wishing I had the second one so that I could continue the story. A request to the library is in order.

"Walking on Broken Glass" by Christa Allan---From Fae to alcoholism. I just started this book tonight and here is my one sentence synopsis of the first few pages. A woman is forced to face her alcoholism when she is confronted by a good friend. Here is the synopsis from the back of the book "Leah Thornton's Life, like her Southern Living home, has great curb appeal. But a paralyzing encounter with a can of frozen apple juice in the supermarket shatters the facade, forcing her to admit that all is not as it appears. When her best friend gets in Leah's face about her refusal to deal with her life, Leah is forced to make a decision. Can this brand-conscious socialite walk away from the country clubg into 28 days of rehab? Can she leave what she has now to gain back what she needs? Joy, sadness, pain and a new strength converge testing her marriage, her friendship and her faith."

"i am not but i know I AM" by Louie Giglio---I won this book from Wendy Blight (http://www.wendyblight.com/). I have been reading it at night before I go to bed. It is about how the story(life) isn't really about us but about God. I have only read a couple of chapters but it is because I keep going back to reread. He talks about how so often we get caught up in "us"....our day, our life, that we are like a horse with blinders on. We forget to stop, look up, look around and take notice of the main character in everyone's story---GOD. I am excited to continue this book....now if I can just get past the first couple of chapters. LOL

"Mayflower" by Nathaniel Philbrick----Again, a book that was recommended to me. My friend Julianne was telling me how she had bought this book for her daughter and that it was on Border's Clearance for $5. Its the real story of the Pilgrims and their arrival in New England, not the happy "Charlie Brown's Thanksgiving" that we have all grown up with. Here is a line from the synopsis on the back "The promise of the First Thanksgiving had given way to the horror of total war". I am intrigued to read this as my friend Kelly, who is a history professor, always said that just once she would like to see Pilgrims and Indians with sad faces instead of the happy "everything is perfect" faces that they are always portrayed with. She said only then would it reflect actual history.

"The Way of the Heart" by Henri J. M. Nowen---I decided to check this book out after it was referenced in "The Feast of St. Bertie". The book is inspired by the teachings of St. Anthony and discusses clearing a spiritual path by using Solitude, Silence and Prayer.

"Alice I Have Been" by Melanie Benjamin---This book caught my eye as I was entering the library to return/pick up. This is the story of the grown-up Alice in Wonderland.

And so, that is my stack at the moment. I would continue as there is another series that I have in my stack but Shadow is demanding that we go to bed.

What are you reading???? Any good recommendations??? Please share.

Blessings

Book Review

2010-06-08T22:17:00.003-05:00

So I have just finished reading "Latter-Day Cipher" by Latayne C. Scott. I wasn't sure when I first started reading if I was going to enjoy it or not. However, once I got into it I was hooked and the book threw me a loop at the end. I closed the book saying "what???? no, that isn't really what just happened".

The book takes place in Salt Lake City, UT. It involves a female journalist who is sent there to cover the murder of prominent female Mormon. The journalist has a cousin in Salt Lake City who is also a Mormon. The first murder becomes one of many. The journalist is now on a journey to not only cover the story but also to try and figure out the ancient Mormon laws and ways of the church. As her journey leads her to discovery both in the murders and in her faith, her cousin and his family are also searching.

I am not Mormon nor do I know anyone that is. However I found this book fascinating in the beliefs and rituals of the Mormons. The author was a Mormon for ten years so I am trusting that much of what she wrote is factual. As a murder mystery, this was a very well written one. Yet it also brings up the question of "why do you believe what you believe". This isn't an "in your face" Christian book but it is one that will make both the believer and non-believer stop and think.

I AM

2010-06-08T10:44:00.002-05:00

OK, I am going to do this although it is a very hard exercise for me. I have been encouraged to at least try by Melissa Taylor (http://melissataylor.org/)

I am the daughter of two wonderful parents.

I wonder what it would be like to not have to worry about money.

I hear so much negativity and doubt

I see families that love each other and then children that are nothing more than material possessions. I see chaos amidst the calm.

I want happiness, contentment, peace and confidence. I want to be debt free.

I am scared, confused, overwhelmed

I pretend that everything is fine. I put on the "happy face" and go through life with a smile while inside I am screaming.

I feel alone, sometimes abandandoned, yet often times I feel love from unexpected places

I touch others, hopefully

I worry about not being able to pay the bills, about being evicted from my apartment, about not meeting everyone's expectations of me

I cry not so much as I used to though I still cry. I cry when I am angry, when I can't find the right words. Medication has helped this crying problem that I have had :>)

I am a nurturer, a care-giver, an animal lover

I understand that not everyone thinks like I do (but I wish they would :>) )

I say ....not sure on this one. Someone will have to help me out.

I dream ….lately I have been dreaming of those I have loved that I have passed away. My grandpa, my mother-in-law, my first true love

I try to please everyone in hopes that they will like me

I hope that I can be the woman who makes her parents proud

I am Jessica Jan Smith Budd.

Okay...this was very, very hard for me. When Melissa posted her daughter's answer's yesterday I read the questions and thought "I can't answer those". Then today, Melissa posted her answers and challenged us to do the same. As I answered, I didn't think. I just typed what popped into my head. So I guess that makes these answers brutally honest. I would love to hear your feedback on my answers and how YOU see me. Plus, I would love to hear your answers about yourself.

Take a moment, reflect on yourself (even though it is hard) and see where your heart really is. After answering these questions, I am reminded that I am blessed. How am I blessed????

I have two wonderful parents who raised me to know and love God
I have two jobs that allow me to work with people and help solve their problems
I have a wonderful boss whose family is like my own
I have a wonderful church family
I have shelter and a landlord who understands when the rent payment isn't always on time
I have an exhusband who doesn't hate me and that still pays for my health insurance/medical needs
I have a best friend that I don't talk to for months yet we can still pick up right where we left off
I have seen the miracles that God can perform in my niece Sofie and my friend June
I have seen God provide when I thought that I was at the end of my rope
I have a wonderful Sunday School class of first and second graders

Count your blessings today....I bet you will be suprized by what you have compared to what you don't.

Blessings

Jessica

Book Review--"The Feast of St. Bertie"

2010-05-25T21:54:00.002-05:00

I have been reading A LOT lately. I read for at least a half hour before bed and any other time I can squeeze it in. In the past, I have "reviewed" some of these books. Lately though it seems that time has gotten away and I have read and returned (to the library). However, I just finished a book that I have to write about it and one that is on my "must purchase list".

The book???? "The Feast of St. Bertie" by Kathleen Poppa I know, the title leaves you thinking food, a buffet, a loaded table. But the book is actually a feast for the soul. As I was reading, I was reminded of "Eat, Pray, Love" for several reasons. This book, like "Eat, Pray, Love"' is one that I think you have to be in the right frame of mind for when you read it. I remember that I put "Eat, Pray, Love" down several times until one day I picked it up and the book just fit. I was ready for it. This book was the same way for me. I was in the right frame of mind for it.

I am in the mind set of rebuilding, of searching, of longing. The main character in this book is going through those same things. The books starts with the main character returning home from her husband's funeral to find her home in flames. She has a grown son that she hasn't seen in months who doesn't even know that his father has died. She has a best friend who loves her but can be pushy, in charge and sometimes self-centered. And the main character does not lack for money. You learn so much about this woman in the book but not only her but those that are important to her. She decides to follow her heart and goes on a journey of the soul. The journey that she takes not only affects her but those in her life. She sees the beauty that she missed before, she learns what a "real" relationship with Christ is all about, and she finds her worth.

There was a line from the book that stayed with me. "There is something holy about sorrow". How can sorrow be holy? But it can. Tears and pain force us to bare our soul. They force us to be "real". When we really, truly hurt there are no fake smiles, happy facades, no "I'm OK". I remember a few months ago when I had food poisoning. I was SO sick, I couldn't stop throwing up and I was scared. I was alone. I called on close friends for help. Were I healthy, I would never ask for help. I would fight my way through, I would do it on my own. But in pain, we ask for help. When our soul is in pain, there is a "friend that sticketh closer than a brother". He is there to hold us, to comfort us, to love us. He loves us in our nakedness, in our realness, with all of our mistakes and flaws. Remember when Jesus was in the Garden before he was crucified? He wept and in his sorrow there was holiness.

2009 was a year of sorrow for me. All that I knew and that I thought I needed was gone. I was no longer a caretaker of my mother-in-law, I was no longer a wife, I no longer had a house, I had to put my cat down, I had to sell things that I once thought were valuable to pay bills. In that sorrow though I found holiness. I found that instead of taking care of others, I could and should take care of myself. I found that I didn't need a house to have a home. I found that material possessions do not define happiness. I found out that my friends love me for me, not for anything I have done or could do. I found out that God always provides and in my aloneness He is and was there. I found out that God is faithful, He never leaves nor forsakes.

And all of that, I realized after reading this book. Kathleen Poppa is a woman of God and I am thankful for her willingness to allow Him to use her. This book will be on my bookshelf and I will read it again.

Blessings

A homeless man

2010-05-14T14:00:00.002-05:00

This morning on my way into work, I passed a man on the sidewalk. It was pouring down rain and cool. This man was bundled up under several coats carrying his possessions in trash bags to protect them from the rain. It wasn't the first time I had noticed this man. You see, my dad pointed him out to me several weeks ago.
My mom had brought up the movie "Blind Side". After watching it, dad said that there was man like that in my town. At first, I thought "who is he talking about?" and then I saw him. The man with the plastic Wal-Mart sacks (blue ones) who is always walking in front of Village Hall. How many times had I passed him and not really noticed him? How many times had I passed and just assumed that he was just someone waiting for the bus? This morning he was walking quickly, heading toward the highway and I wonder if he was hoping to find a ride or if he was just headed for a dry spot under the overpass. I have thought about him a lot off and on today. What is his story? I may never know but I do know that the next time I see him, I am going to pull over and offer him a cup of coffee or a soda. I am going to step out of my comfort zone because that is what my both earthly and Heavenly fathers would do. They would offer this man some form of kindness.

As I sit here typing this, I wonder if my dad has already spoken to this man. If he has already reached out to him. Somehow I think he has.

Who has Jesus put in your path that you haven't taken the time to notice? Is there someone that you have passed every day but haven't stopped to really notice them? Be Jesus to someone today.....reach out to them with kindness and love. We may be the only light that they will see.

Blessings

Today...

2010-05-11T13:18:00.004-05:00

ast night was a good night. I was able to leave the office a few minutes early. I drove home in the drizzle and pulled in my parking spot to find that the wind had blown a plastic lawn chair into my flower bed. Thankfully no plants where hurt during the landing of the chair. Shadow was, of course, waiting on the other side of the door. She wanted to go out but the weather said otherwise....wet and cool. Not a good day for cat/dog to be outside. I heated up some left-over chili-mac and watched a Food Network Challenge while eating dinner.

After dinner, I went to Pottery Hollow to meet up with Becky and Brittany. Becky and I both needed to finish our plate "that would never end" :>) I was so thankful for Brittany's help and guidance. I think I finally have a plate that won't go into the trash.

From there it was back home to watch Dancing with the Stars and to cast my votes. I voted for Chad and Erin. I didn't think Chad did as well as Erin,Nichole or Evan but I am hoping he stays at least one more week and Neecy goes home. I was feeling good when I went to bed. It was storming, so I grabbed a book and curled up in bed with Shadow.

3:45AM---I woke up to another headache. I got up, took 800mg of ibuprofen and moved to the couch. Shadow followed and curled up on the pillow next to me.

7:00AM---my alarm goes off. No, I can't quite move yet. So I reset the alarm to 8AM.

8:00AM---my alarm goes off for the second time. I lay there until Shadow starts nipping my fingers and toes. With a groan I roll off the couch, it is 8:15AM. I feed Shadow and head for the shower. After a hot shower, a bowl of oatmeal and about five minutes of play time with Shadow, I head out the door. I arrive at work at 9:00AM on the dot.

Today, the sun is shining and the temp is in the 70's. A totally different day than yesterday. I downloaded this photo onto my Facebook page today:

It will probably embarrass Mason but it is one of my favorite photos. I actually
have it sitting on my desk at work now.

11:41pm----I just pulled brownies from the oven for Tim's birthday tomorrow. It has been a full evening. I worked until about 6:15PM when Jeff picked me up for dinner. We went to a mexican resteraunt in honor of his mom. Jeff even ordered guacamole just as she used to. We talked about her and how she would order just guacamole and chips....just that and she was completely happy. After dinner, I went to Famous Shoes to buy a pair of black dress shoes since my current pair have a broken strap. A stop at Wal-Mart for milk and cereal and then I was home.
I caught up on Dancing with the Stars to see who went home (Neecy) while dusting the living room and vacuuming. I watched Biggest Loser while making the brownies and doing the dishes. I was sad to see Sunshine go home as she was my favorite and I had hoped she would make it to the final four.

So now, the brownies are on the island cooling. Shadow is playing with a bottle ring and I am getting ready to go to bed. Just a few minutes ago, Shadow was in the window which was open. I'm not sure what showed up outside but she jumped out of the window hissing, her tail a bottle brush. I reached over to pet her and she hissed at me so whatever it was must have been scary. I closed the window and the curtain....no scariness needed around here.

It has been a day of blessings and sunshine......

YAWNNNNNNNNN

2010-03-05T16:08:00.002-06:00

I am so tired I feel as if my bones are melting. I think my spine has turned into jello and it's all I can do to sit here at my desk. It's 4:08 PM. We close the office in one hour. Then Tim and I head back to his house to load up the vehicles for Kid Mania tomorrow. We have to be at the high school at 5AM, so needless to say I am hoping for a VERY early night.

It's been my birthday week, which in a way, I guess is why I am tired. It's been a good week but yesterday and today I have been SO cranky. I have felt like I was on the verge of a melt down at any minute. I'm going to blame it on lack of sleep. Monday night I cleaned the apartment and just vegged out with dad. Tuesday night I had dinner at Los Tres Amigos with dad and Jeff. Wednesday night we went to Gene and June's for dinner. Last night I worked until 10PM. So a lot of eating and working....seems to be a standard for me lately.

Next week is not going to be any better as I work Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday night until 10, Friday night until 9 and Saturday 830am to 8pm. Poor Shadow is going to be so lonely since Dad is going back home Sunday.

When I got out of the shower this morning, I could hear Dad talking to Shadow. Dad was saying "Grandpa, you just need to find a job up here so you can stay with me and momma and I won't have to be lonely". Funny how we express our thoughts through animals.

I received a lot of birthday wishes on Facebook, heard from some people I didn't expect to and didn't hear from some that I thought for sure would make some type of contact. I only received one birthday card this year which I found strange for some reason. I guess the older you get, people feel that it's no longer needed. Cards bring smiles though no matter what age you are. Even just simple "I'm thinking about you's" can bring smiles. I had two clients bring unexpected smiles to me on my birthday by simply telling me how much they appreciated me.

So my challenge to you is to do the unexpected for someone. Send them a card, give them a call, whatever. Just step out of your daily routine and acknowledge someone who means something to you, who has done something special for you, etc. The blessing will come back to you I promise.

Book Review

2010-03-03T11:50:00.003-06:00

Happy Wednesday and happy birthday to me!!!!

I just finished reading three books, all recommendations from the She Reads blog (http://www.shereads.org). I will start with my favorite of the three.

"Fireflies in December" by Jennifer Erin Valent

This was a quick read for me simply because I enjoyed it SO much. The book is written from a 13 year old girl's perspective. Her name is Jessilyn Lassiter. She is the only daughter of a farmer in a small time. The time is 1932 and the Klan is a strong influence in the town. Jessilyn's best friend is black and comes to live with Jessilyn's family. You can imagine what transpires. I couldn't put this book down as I wanted to know what happened. The characters in this book came to life for me and I found myself sitting on the Lassiter front porch. Interwoven is the message that not all people are bad, each of us is a light in this dark world and that the most important relationship one can have is with Jesus.

"White Picket Fences" by Susan Meissner

Susan Meissner also wrote Shape of Mercy which I really enjoyed so I was anxious to pick up this book. Again, a quick read but due to the fact that to me it was a "beach book". This book is about the "perfect" family and how there really is no such thing. Behind every facade is the true story. This book is about a teenage girl who ends up living with her aunt and uncle and their two kids. An aunt and uncle that she has met only once many years ago. Her dad is "missing", her life has been far from normal and she is thrown into this storybook family. However this storybook family has secrets. There were parts in this book that I really enjoyed but I knew how the book was going to end halfway through. I didn't know the specifics but I knew the outcome. An OK read but not nearly as good as Shape of Mercy in my opinion.

"Tuesday Night at the Blue Moon" by Debbie Fuller Thomas

My least favorite of the three. Again, I knew the outcome of this book by the end of chapter 1. It was one of those reads were everything is tied together at the end with a nice little bow. The story is about two girls who were accidentally switched at birth. One girl dies from a genetic disease which leads to the discovery of the switch and the ensuing custody battle for the other girl who by now is a teenager. Again, an OK read but not something that I would pick up over and over again.

So I have requested more books from the library and until something comes in for me to pick up, I will go back to my magazines. If you decide to read any of these or anything else that I recommend or review let me know your thoughts.

Blessings

I Did It!!!!

2010-02-16T15:33:00.002-06:00

I taught my first craft class tonight, Scrap and Stamp at the YMCA. I was SO nervous because paper crafting is a hobby not something I think I excel at. Lucky for me I only have three people in my class--girls ages 8 and 9.

We made journals....the sample I made for class is shown above. I let the girls pick out their own designer papers which I paired with solid cardstock. Once the "foundation" was on, I let them go wild with embellisments. It was so fun to watch each one's unique style and personality come out. At the end of the class, they told me "it was the best class ever!" :>) I will be teaching this class for the next five weeks for one hour on Tuesdays.

As I was driving home, the moon looked like the Cheshire Cat grin. You know the one where all you see is the grin but no face. I wish I would have had my camera.

Tomorrow is weigh in day for me and I know that I am going to do awful. All I have wanted to do since the weekend is eat and eat I have. So much for willpower....I have eaten a box of Raisenets, a box of Junior Caramels, a box of Junior Mints, banana cake with brown sugar glaze, half a large pizza, chili mac, cereal. If it wasn't moldy or rotten and I could eat it I did. So tomorrow I will be chastised by the scale.

I'm grateful tonight for the assistance that God gave me in teaching this class, for all the food that I have eaten (I could have been like so many and had nothing) and for my warm home.

Blessings

God is my Valentine

2010-02-10T14:08:00.002-06:00

This week has been hard, I'm not going to lie. I keep thinking about Valentines Day and how it was one year ago on February 14th that Jeff was arrested. What a year it has been since that day. Ups and downs, twists and turns, feelings of failure and guilt.

I have never really cared for Valentine's Day. To me it's a gimicky holiday and if you love someone Hallmark and FTD shouldn't push you to say it or show it. Show me with a heart felt hug, a suprise cup of hot chocolate just because you know I'm cold, my favorite candy because you know it will make me smile not because you feel forced to show your love.

So last night I met with Lynn, Joy and Jen for our weight loss meeting. We were downstairs exercising and I blurted out "Sisters, I need your prayers this week because I am really feeling discouraged. Sunday will be one year since I was seperated from my husband". Now those that know me, know that my wants and needs are usually kept to my self. I am a healer, fixer, lover for other peoples wants and needs. Joy replied without missing a beat "come hang out with us after church Sunday morning...we will have lunch together". Just like that, I was enveloped in love. I opened my heart to these sweet sisters and God filled it. Later on that night after devotion we each took turns praying for each other. In her prayer for me, Joy said "Lord, let Jessica realize that you are her Valentine. That your love will never go away and you gave her the greatest Valentine by dying on the cross". My heavy heart was lifted as I realized He is my Valentine and He loves me ALL the time. He doesn't just show it one day a year but every day. He shows me in the flowers that bloom in the spring, in the birds that come to my feeder, in the hugs and prayers of my family and friends. What a wonderful gift!!!

The wonderful thing is that God is your Valentine too. Open your heart today and accept that love offering that He is giving to you.

Blessings

Monday Mayhem

2010-02-08T09:43:00.005-06:00

Outside my window: At 9:45AM there are tiny little snowflakes dancing through the air. They don't look like they would be big enough to amount to much once they hit the ground but they dust the tops of the vehicles like powdered sugar. Our roads are still clear and we are still waiting for the six inches that has been predicted.
It is now 2PM. The dance is over and the sky is clear. There is a slight breeze which I now by the fluttering of the American flag I see in the parking lot across the street. The sun is trying to peek out but hasn't made an actual appearance. Again, I wonder "where is this six inches of snow?"

It is 10:12PM. It is snowing though not the "snowstorm" that they forecasted. The ground is now covered though the weather man just said that we would have three inches at the most. So much for our "six inches" and the chance to burrow in.

I am thankful for: the opportunity to rest this weekend. I took the weekend off from the YMCA because mom had tickets to see Hairspray at Shyrock on Sunday. The play was pushed back from 2PM to 4PM and Ms. Lynn and I had our Sunday School party Saturday night. I think I slept ALL weekend and I feel SO much better because of it.

I'm remembering: when we lived in the house on Olive Street. It was winter and there was this BLOCK of ice behind our house. Uncle David was over, pulling me around the yard on my sled. He would run and pull me over that block. I would remember how scary but fun it was.

I am going: to our Weight Loss Group meeting tomorrow night pending that the weather holds out. I can't wait to see these wonderful ladies.

From the kitchen:chili mac .....I made enough for left overs

It was a GREAT Super Bowl last night and it was SO much fun to watch it with Carson. Poor little buddy was so nervous that the Saints were going to lose, he kept pacing around the house. Super Bowl 44 won by the New Orleans Saints--first time to the Super Bowl. Tim made Carson's menu just as Carson had written it down.

It's now 10:25PM. The dishes are done, I finally have thank you cards made for Christmas and they will go out tomorrow, Shadow is sleeping in her cat tree. I am thankful for another day, a roof over my head and God's never failing grace.

Blessings

I Have To Write This Down

2010-02-04T10:08:00.002-06:00

So it's 10:08AM on Thursday and I am supposed to be working. Supposed to be are the key words here. I keep thinking about Carson (Tim and Becky's son) and laughing. You see, Carson is very excited about the Super Bowl this coming Sunday. So excited in fact, that he has planned out a menu for the event. Now, keep in mind that there is no party at their house it's just Tim, Becky, Carson and Delaney and me if I should be back in town in time.

Carson's menu has kept me laughing because of it's detail. The top of the menu has the date, the time of the Super Bowl (not only when it starts but also when it ends) and of course the words Super BowlXLIV. Then comes the menu which is:

Cheese Dip and Chips

Medium Chicken Wings (notice that he made a point to specify Medium)

Hamburgers

Kool-Aid (what Super Bowl party is complete without Kool-Aid)

Praire Farms Vanilla Ice Cream (not just any ice cream but PRARIE FARMS ice cream)

I just laugh every time I think about it and see his 2nd grade handwriting. I SO hope Becky keeps this for his scrapbook.

OK, I am going back to work now.

Hot Tea and Honey

2010-02-02T20:58:00.002-06:00

So, once again, I am sick. I have been sick more this winter than I can remember being in a long time. Maybe it's stress, maybe it's the weather, maybe it's the mold in my apartment. Whatever the reason, I am sick and tired of being sick and tired.
Sunday I woke up with a scratchy throat. I didn't feel bad just not much of a voice. Monday(yesterday) the voice was worse, I had a dry cough and my throat hurt. Today almost no voice, sore throat and the ocugh is starting to loosen up. So I am taking Mucinex and drinking hot tea and honey.
I saw my friends Gene and June this past Sunday. It was an off week for chemo and I am praying that whatever I have is not contagious. June is such an inspiration to me. She is diagnosed with cancer, told that her chances of survival are low and she has rebounded from every obstacle. She is facing chemo now, she starts her second treatment this week, and still she is staying strong. She will admit that it's not easy but she is facing it.
I was reminded of a great promise from God today. Lysa Terkurst had a guest on he blog. Her guest referred to this portion of a verse "as you measure out, so you will be measured". I am a nurturer by nature. I give and give because it fills this need in me and it makes me happy. However, I always reach a point where I feel empty and feel used. This verse reminded me that as much as I give, it will be given back. And it has.
There have been SO many blessings....always right on time and when I ready to give up. As I measure out, so I am measured. The giver's gain perspective is really true.
I was blessed again on Sunday. We had a chili cook off after Sunday morning service. There was SO much to choose from!!!! As I was getting ready to leave, a very sweet woman that I barely know tapped me on the shoulder and asked if I would like to take some of her chili home. I don't even really know her and she is offering me food. I willingly accepted and then my friend Cheryl also offered. So now I have a blessing of food in my freezer for those days/nights when I don't feel like cooking or have no money to buy food.
Blessings....every day they surround us if we only take the time to notice.
May you notice your blessing(s) and thank the One who gave them to you.

Gloomy Gus

2010-01-20T15:32:00.003-06:00

That's what I feel like today. I woke up to gray skies once again. The forecast is rain although we have just had heavy drizzle. The alarm clock went off and I just wanted to SLEEP. I tried to squeeze in just a few more minutes but Shadow's food bowl was empty so she was having none of that sleeping business.

I stopped off at the cable office on my way to work to pay my bill. I told the lady behind the counter that this was one bill I had to pay or else my cat wouldn't have anything to watch while I was at work. She started laughing and said she understood, her pets watch more TV than she does. For Shadow, it's not so much the shows but the music channel. She has to have her Classic Country playing :>)

I met with two other ladies from the church last night for our first weight loss group meeting. I walked in prepared to just talk and figure out how we were going to do things. I was still in my work clothes. However, Ms. Lynn was ready to get started. So we put in an exercise DVD and got right to it. Jenn said she had never worked out with someone as stylish as me before--LOL. Here I was in dress slacks, blouse and dress flats doing high kicks and side steps. I lasted for a mile into the two mile workout. We prayed, we read some scripture and we talked about our goals for weight loss. Ms. Lynn is going on a cruise in May and wants to be 30 pounds lighter. Jenn is renewing her wedding vows in October and wants to be at least 50 pounds lighter but her ultimate goal is 100 pounds. Me....well I said December since that's the only "event" on my 2010 calendar. I would like to be at least 30 pounds lighter if not 50. So we are meeting every other Tuesday night to keep each other accountable and help each other reach our goals. I started a food journal today which I HATE. I just want to eat, I don't want to be responsible for what I eat. But I guess that's why I weigh what I do right now. So I am thinking before I eat, do I really want to write this down and have to share it with everyone? I will admit that after the meeting last night, I went home and ate half a package of Saltine crackers with Cheeze Whiz while I watched the Biggest Loser. Not smart, I know. I had eaten dinner at 5:30 but by the time I got home I was munchy hungry. I by passed the Hostess Cupcake but did more damage with crackers and cheese. Shoulda just had the cupcake.
I have done OK so far today but I have yet to eat dinner so we will see how I end up.
Lord I pray for discipline to help me not only on this weight loss journey but in my life as a general rule. Help me finds ways to relieve stress that do not include food and help me find satisfaction on other things besides food.
Blessings

Monday Mayhem on a Tuesday

2010-01-19T17:09:00.003-06:00

Happy Tuesday or to be all same start letters like on the Letter People Terrific Tuesday to ya!!!!

Did you ever watch the Letter People??? Now that I look back on it, I guess they weren't really that fantastic but I still remember C is for Cotton Candy. OK enough of my rambling. It's 5:11PM, I am at work with about one hour left but thought I would wind down my day with a little blogging.

Outside My Window: It's starting to get dark, the street lights are coming on but it's been a very gray day. There has been drizzle in the air, thus it's damp and the temperature has dropped since this morning.

I am thinking: about food....it's what I always think about. What I can eat, what I can bake, how something would taste if I just had it on a plate in front of me. Yesterday I wanted French Toast swimming in maple syrup, today it's brownies with hot fudge and whipped cream...maybe a brownie sundae from Dairy Queen. Haven't had one of those in EONS.

I am thankful for: Food (ha ha, I had to type that in there) Seriously I am thankful for a warm place to lay my head, family and friends that love me, two jobs that help keep me a float. I have been thinking about all of those people in Haiti who were already SO destitute and how things must be for them now after the earthquake.

I am going: to Ms. Lynn's tonight after work. Some ladies from the church are getting together to start a weight loss support team. Isn't that even funnier considering my earlier comment about what I'm thinking about???

I am currently reading: I am picking up "Redeeming Love" by Francine Rivers at the library tonight. I just finished an AWESOME book called "Talking to the Dead" by Bonnie Grove. The title sounds weird but it was recommended off the "She Reads" website. It's about a nonchristian woman whose husband unexpectantly dies but she can still hear him talking to her. It was a fast read (I read it in two days) but very good. I also just finished "The Lost Symbol" by Dan Brown. I have to say of the three "DaVinci Code" books I think this one was my favorite. I took from it that there is "mystery" everywhere and in every group but for the most part if we just take the time to really look around us the mystery is really not so much of a mystery anymore.

From the kitchen: Last week I made banana bread which really needed walnuts but I didn't have any. I also made rice krispy treats for snack at Sunday School. Last night I had fiesta lime chicken from Schwans but as far as actually cooking a meal...why do that when it's just me???

Around the house: Finally put away the few things I had out for Christmas and took down my Thanksgiving wreath. The gift bag holder has been put back away. I hung my mail basket on the wall above the shredder. Shadow loves to play in the shredder bin---every night when I come home there is shredded paper everywhere!!!

On my mind: Money as usual, wondering how everything is going to get paid and trying to remember that God always provides.

Tomorrow night I have a haircut appointment after work. Thursday and Friday night I work at the YMCA. Saturday morning I have a baby shower and then I work at the YMCA. Sunday morning is Sunday School and a birthday party for one of our SS boys and then work again at the YMCA. So not much time left for play this week.

I'm going to wrap this up so I can wrap up things here at the office.

Blessings

In 2 Hours

2009-12-31T22:02:00.003-06:00

In 2 hours, it will be 2010. A new decade, a new year, a new day, a fresh page. I am sitting in my apartment, a movie on in the background (Where the Heart Is), in sweat pants and a fleece shirt, wrapped up in a fleece blanket. I am laughing at a line in the movie....the little girl asks if you feed a cow chocolate will you get chocolate milk to which the guy responds yes and he continues saying that if you spin a cow around really fast you will get whipped cream. LOL

I had offers to go out tonight and had planned on doing just that. Tim's sister Carol is hosting the New Year's Eve celebration tonight and Cheryl from church invited me over for board games and food. However, tonight home just sounded SO good. I haven't really felt that great.....probably due to lack of sleep, stress, some bug going around or a combination of all three.

Tuesday at work I just didn't feel well all day. Nothing that I could say "this hurts or this aches" just overall not feeling well. At 8:30 that night, I finally just went to bed thinking that I would probably wake up around midnight or something. I didn't wake up until 730 the next morning and only then because Shadow was biting my toes to let me know that her food bowl was empty. I thought that maybe I just needed the rest.

Yesterday, we had snow again. Flurries off and on throughout the day but the temperature wasn't too bad. This was the view from my window at work:

The day at the insurane agency was chaotic. It seemed like for every new policy we wrote we cancelled one in its place. Tim and I didn't even really speak to each other because we both were just so .....I cant' even find the right word. I left the insurance agency and went to work at the YMCA. I was there until 10 and then booked it to the movie theater.
Blind Side FINALLY made it to the $5 club and I was not going to miss it. It was the bestest, happiest, saddest movie I have seen in a long time and I can't wait to see it again. In fact, I can't wait to own my own copy. I laughed,I cried,it made me think, it made me hope.....Hope that there is still kindness for each other, hope that there is still goodness, hope that no matter what the situation change is ALWAYS possible.
I didn't make it home until after 1AM and I had to be at work at the YMCA at 6AM. I left the house around 5:00 thinking that maybe the Bread Co would be open and I could grab a danish and hot chocolate. No such luck as they do not open until 6, so I ended up at work at 5:30AM. I worked until 9:30, had to be at Tim/Becky's by 10:30 and was hungry for Hardee's cinnamon holes. I went through the drive-thru to find that Hardee's no longer carries the cinnamon holes---twice in one morning I was denied the sweetness I was craving!!! So I settled for a sausage/cheese biscuit and milk--and headed to the Philipps house. I ate my "not what I wanted" breakfast while staring at the remains of the kids French Toast. I wanted that French Toast, I wanted to eat the cold remenants that were left in the sticky syrup pool on their plates, I wanted to lick the bottom of the syrup pool. I didn't though because I'm a grown-up and giving in would just be disgusting. I ate my "not what I wanted" biscuit and drank my milk. I have NO idea why I was craving sweets SO bad.
Becky and I took Delaney to see "The Princess and the Frog". It was so cute seeing Delaney carrying her Princess Tiana doll to the movie.

I made it back home around 2pm. Shadow and I curled up on the couch for a much needed nap. And here I sit, now only an hour and half to a new year. Indy has her 10PM snack and is curled up in her cat perch. I am looking around at the mess of my apartment and think "tomorrow is another day"
Happy New Year!!!!!

Monday Mayhem

2009-12-28T21:03:00.003-06:00

The title fits today. Monday's are always crazier than normal but having the office closed for two days adds to the chaos. The morning started out better than expected but of course it ended with trying to take care of a client and needing to leave for an appointment at the same time. Tim stepped in and finished up with the client as best as he could given the time of day.

Outside my window today: Cold but yesterday's snow started to turn to slush on the sidewalks. By the time I arrived home, the temperature had dropped and the slush was turning to ice.

On the TV: My usual shows are on hiatus so I am watching a recorded episode of Holmes on Homes. The show makes me thankful that I am no longer a home owner and am not renovating/remodeling. It gives me great insight into what SHOULD be done though.

I'm Reading: The Lost Symbol by Dan Brown. I finished "The Heretic's Daughter" by Kathleen Kent while at mom and dad's for Christmas. I don't recommend that book. It was ink on paper...no emotion behind the words when there could have been SO much. I finished "Hotel on the Corner of Bitter and Sweet" right about a week ago. A great book but not what I had expected. I'm not sure what I expected really. I checked it out because of a review that was written about it in USA today. It's the story of a Chinese American man who grew up during the Pearl Harbor era. There was so much history and emotion in the pages and I'm glad that I read it. I can't imagine growing up in that time as a Chinese (or Japanese for that matter) youth, having to wear a button to let all know that you were Chinese so that you didn't get arrested.

In my kitchen: Dirty dishes--LOL I had Fiesta Lime Chicken from Schwan's for dinner. Tomorrow night will be my "creative night" so hopefully there will be something tasty coming from the kitchen.

I took Shadow to the vet tonight for her booster shots. She is approximately 4 months old. She was SO mad at me afterwards. She curled up in her carrier with her back to me. It wasn't long after we were home though that she was back in my lap. Love that cat!

With the new year and the change in work schedules, my plan is that Monday night will be my house cleaning/errand night. Tuesday will be creative night--baking, scrapbooking,etc--or doing something with friends. Wednesday is church night. Thursday, Friday and Saturday nights will be work at the YMCA. Sunday...well that's church day and the day of rest which means NAP.

I had such a blessed Christmas this year. It was so nice to be with my parents and just relax. No agenda, no place to be, no expecations....just us three. I hope you had as wonderful a holiday.

Until the next time....here is a random picture

She has passed....

2009-11-18T14:36:00.004-06:00

This morning my mother-in-law, Margaret Budd, passed away. She was a fighter. A strong-willed, stubborn lady who loved her family and her husband. Beneath that tough outside layer was a heart...a heart that loved, a heart that could hurt, a heart that ached for her departed husband, a heart that rejoiced with each grandchild and great-granchild.

I met Margie around 1993 or 1994. She was still living in Union then in the house that she and Ralph had finished raising her two sons in. The house were she spent the final years with Ralph. She was no nonsense---things were the way they were and you just had to accept it. I remember when her dog Buttons passed away. It was winter and the ground was frozen so no one could bury him. So she put Buttons in a turkey roaster and set the roaster on the back porch until the ground thawed enough. As she put it "the roaster had holes in it anyway so I found a use for it and it was cold enough on the back porch". No nonsense.

I was there when the family moved her from Union to Hillsboro. A sad but happy time for her. Saddness in that she was leaving behind a house full of memories and happiness that she was going to be close to her great grandchildren. As we packed up boxes, she would tell me the stories associated with a picture, a knick-knack, a piece of furniture or even a room.

It was while in Hillsboro that she took the fall that would eventually lead to her diagnosis and eventually bring her to mine and Jeff's house. I had the privilege of caring for her for over a year. Prior to that, I would drive up on a Friday or Saturday night. I would spend the night with her, we would watch movies, I took her out to breakfast and we ran errands. I smile remembering how she would always order either pancackes or waffles. Even when she was in the hospital, if I took her a pancacke she would immediately feel better. During those weekends, we would talk. She talked to me about growing up in the Depression, about caring for her sister Marilyn, about how she met Ralph, about her love for Ralph. With each conversation, my love and respect for her grew.

When we moved her in with us, I learned even more about her and I sadly watched her health decline. As her health declined though her mind stayed sharp. We would still have great conversations about her past, about things that happened in the Bible, we would sing together and we would do crossword puzzles together. I never even thought of doing a crossword until Margie moved in and now I'm addicted :>)

I will miss her because I loved her. Because I love her, I am happy that she is finally at peace and with her one true love. Thank you Margie for the life lessons that you have taught me. Thank you for being true to yourself. Thank you for the son that you gave to me as my husband. Thank you for being you.

Is that what I am????

2009-11-18T09:24:00.002-06:00

Peaceful....that is how my friend Lisa described me in a comment. Is that what I am?? I hope so. It's what I have strived for as long as I can remember. A peaceful home, a peaceful disposition. I don't like drama, cannot stand confrontation and loud arguments make me nauseous.

Why is this??? If someone were analyzing me they would probably say "it stems from something in your childhood" (said with a deep voice, not sure why but that's how I hear it my head). Maybe it does. I remember my parents arguing when I was little, I remember one instance where my dad threw a rolled up magazine or newspaper or something at my mom. I remember being put in the car and going to grandma's. Are these realy memories though???? Or are they exaggerations of an event or events that happened?

Whatever they are, they in no way change the way I feel about both my parents. I love them both dearly. I am grateful for their guidance and love as I grew up. Does dad still have a temper? Sure but it's seems differnt now, more muted. Again maybe it's because I'm no longer there 24 hours a day. I see that same temper, that same spirit rise up in me at times and I have to claim the blood of Jesus to keep it in check.

My mom is crier and I inherited that from her. We don't confront, we don't rock the boat, we just swallow it (whatever it may be at the time) until we explode in this fountain of tears that result from frustration, hurt and anger.

So back to peace. Peace to me equals quiet. A quiet, restful spirit. A place where one can rest (whether that is physically, mentally or emotionally). A place to recharge.

So Lisa, my dear friend, thank you for the compliment. I hope that I can continue to be that peaceful person to you. I love you, your love of life, your love of family, your love of God. Thank you for making me a part of your world.

Monday Mayhem

2009-11-09T22:18:00.002-06:00

So it's Monday and I thought I would recap the last week. Thus, Monday Mayhem is born. And yes, this is post number two for today. I am much calmer now :>)

Hours Worked Last Week: 67.5

Activities Other Than Work: Thursday night I helped Lisa with the triplets. LOVE those babies!!!! Ms. Lynn joined us and since it was also Ladies Prayer night, the three of us had our own Ladies Prayer after we had the triplets to sleep. Then Ms. Lynn and I went to AppleBee's for an appetizer and some great conversation.

Friday morning was Bible Study which is always great. It was much need girl and God time.

Saturday evening I stoppped by the Philipps for Carson's birthday party. I brought Hannah (their dog) home with me for a sleep over.

What I Am Reading: I just finished "The Crowning Glory of Calla Lilly Ponder" by the author of the Ya Ya SisterHood. I LOVED this book. In fact, I now want my own copy. It's the first book I have read in a while that actually brought my tears to my eyes.

And that was my week in a nut shell. Exciting Huh????

Is this what it felt like.....

2009-11-09T13:02:00.003-06:00

I am sitting at my desk, I am still, but my heart feels like I am going a hundred miles an hour. I can almost see the world buzzing past me. I have a residual headache that leaves me feeling almost dizzy. Again, there is a blurriness as of everything around me is speeding by. I wonder if this is what my grandma felt like when she had her nervous breakdown????

Did she feel like she was standing still but drowning at the same time? Did she feel like no matter how fast she moved her feet that her target was moving farther away? Did she feel like turning in circles to try and catch up with all that had to be done, all that was required, all that was being asked of her?

I don't like this feeling. I didn't wake up this way. I woke up at peace, a slight residual headache but spent time reading God's word. I started on our weekly study--this week the subject is the doldrums. What a funny word--doldrum. I read the first page and thought "what?" I looked the word up for a definition. In language doldrums means "being in a state of listlessness, despondency, inactivity, stagnation, or a slump". Our key verse came from Isaiah and I couldn't relate the verse to the study. I completed the first half of the study and then opened my Bible to just read. Funny but God opened it to the chapter of the key verse. So I read. I read that chapter and the next and the next. And He spoke to me. He said to me that as Christians we can be in the doldrums in our walk with Him. We become stagnate, we go through the motions. Sunday School, worship service, Sunday night Service, Wednesday night service and we start over. We pray every day, we lift up those in need, we read His word, we move our feet but not our hearts. He brought me back to a verse from our study where Paul talks about the church not growing but being as infants still needing milk when they should be teaching. They became stagnant, they need to start over at the very beginning. They needed and I need to have that heart to heart that leads to a "new relationship" with Him. I need to go back to being an infant and relying on Him for my "milk", my sustenance.

I prayed, I thanked Him for my blessings, I asked to be a blessing and I came to work at peace. And five minutes in, my heart began racing and the world started sprinting while I was sitting at my desk.

So, here I am at work. I am typing on my blog, I am listenting to some Jim Brickman and I am zoning everything around me out to focus. Focus on Him. Focus on the blessings of job, needs that are met, a boss that says "just sit at your desk for minute and relax", focus on the fact that God never walks away, focus on just being.

Weight Loss Wednesday

2009-10-28T22:48:00.002-05:00

So it's week one of weight loss Wednesday and I lost one pound. I'm a little disappointed because I felt that I had done better than that. However, it is almost that time of month and that last few days I have been HUNGRY. So we will see how this week goes.

It's late and I am just home from work. Headed to bed.....

It's an ugly word.....

2009-10-28T00:58:00.003-05:00

Jealousy....it's an ugly word. I always have associated jealousy with material things. Your friend buys a new house and it's exactly what you wanted, someone buys a new car and it's the one that you have been eyeing. I looked at it as being associated with something that could be purchased.
I've never considered myself a jealous person. Someone buys a new house, I appreciate the beauty of it but think "thank goodness I don't have to clean it, maintain it, etc." Someone buys a new car and I think "good for them, at least I don't have that payment". I never understood jealousy in a relationship. If you love someone and you know that they love you, why would you be jealous of them?
At least these were my thoughts until reading the chapter on jealousy in our weekly Bible Study book. I studied the chapter last night. Last night these words jumped out at me " We wonder why some women are so wise, poised and articulate. This one is pretty. That one has the perfect career. This one has such polite children. That one has so many friends." God made me realize that jealousy doesn't have to be about things that can be purchased. It doesn't matter if it's material or inmaterial. Jealousy goes hand and hand with covetousness.
I read that passage in our book and I realized "that's me!!" I look at other women and think " they are so elegant, they are so put together, everyone loves them" and I feel sorry for myself. It is a problem, a mood, and emotional inbalance that I can't ever remember not having. I want to be loved, I want to be accepted, I want to be the beautiful girl, the smart and funny girl, the one that everyone wants to include. So I try to over achieve to accomplish this. I sign up for everything. I don't say no when asked, I insert myself into conversations that have nothing to do with me thinking that this will fill that need. When in reality, I am loved. I have a wonderful circle of family and friends that have been and will be there for me. They enjoy ME. I also have a Heavenly Father who accepts me for me because He created me.
As I started typing this tonight, I also realized that I am jealous over the material things as well. God just smacked me in the forehead (it is still stinging a little--LOL) and made realize that even though I say things like "I wouldn't want to clean it or I wouldn't want the payment" that those words are a front for my true feelings. Feelings which are "it must be nice to be able to afford that, I wish I could spend money like that, etc." These feelings are unjustified and lead to bitterness.
We are each unique beings, created just the way God wanted us to be. In that same vein, we each have a unique path. For some, it's a paved sidewalk and for other's it's an overgrown trail. But on each of these paths, we have a guide if we will only rely on Him. Our guide has given us a map (His word) to follow and He is always there if we tend to lose our spot on the map. The path that someone else is on may look easier. It may look more enjoyable. But appearances can be deceiving. That paved sidewalk has cracks that can cause the walker to stumble while the overgrown trail provides shade from the heat. The paved sidewalk leaves the walker exposed to the elements and all those passing by. The overgrown trail can provide shelter and protection. It doesn't matter what your path may be, it's how you choose to perceive it.
Lord, help me to appreciate my path. Let me see the beauty in the simple things and the blessings that come with the simplicity. Help me to appreciate the me that you have created and accept the love that others offer me.

Longaberger For Sale

2009-10-21T14:22:00.006-05:00

Since my seperation, I have taken a minimalist approach. If I don't use it, then I don't need it. My Longaberger collection has been a HUGE part of this. Since Longaberger is a collectible, the selling of some of these pieces has brought some much needed extra income.

I opened up my TV cabinet last night and found some four more baskets. They had a purpose and a use in my former house but do not now. I am selling these at 50% off their original price. They are all in great if not excellent condition. I accept cash, check, money order or PayPal.

This is the 2004 Hostess Greetings Set. The basket is 18LX14Wx8H with a red weave and swing handles. The set includes the basket, protector and striped liner. I am asking $100 for it. I LOVE this basket but it currently and has been just a decoration sitting on the bottom of my bakers rack.

This is the lunch box basket. This basket was woven in 2005, has swing handles and includes the protector. I am asking $30 for it.

This is the darning basket set. This basket is retired. It measures 10RD x 4H and includes the protector and an orchard park plaid liner. I am asking $30 for the set.

Finally this is a tea basket set. It includes protector and black liner. I am selling for $25.

Please send me an email to jekkaj1@hotmail.com if you are interested.

Thanks

BLAHHHHH

2009-10-19T11:00:00.004-05:00

I guess the Lord knows I have no willpower when it come to food. I made the decision on Thursday to join with others on Karen Ehman's blog (http://karenehman.com/home/) in Weightloss Wednesdays. I am at my heaviest point and just can't do it anymore. My back hurts, I have no energy and it's something that I have to do for me. I casually watched what I ate Friday, Saturday and yesterday---although it was hard since I was working both jobs. Yesterday afternoon while at the Y, I was doing well. I had had a bowl of oatmeal for breakfast, a protein shake midmorning and a footlong turkey sandwich for lunch (I knew that I would be working through dinner). About four o'clock, a birthday party left and they stopped at the front desk to give me a piece of cake. I should have said no but it's cake!!!! It was just tiny sliver (I made sure of that) so I took it. Did I want it, not really. Was I hungry? Not really Did I eat it---you betcha. And then I started feeling sick. It started with a dull headache and I thought...you idiot you just ate straight carbs and sugar. I was reading a Good Housekeeping Magazine and came across an article called "Straying Fork Syndrome". It was about choosing the foods you really want instead of the ones that ambush you. At first I was skeptical about what the article would say but it really spoke to me. The author talks about food being one of two types--"hummers" and "beckoners". After reading the article, I realized that the cake was a beckoner. I didn't have a craving for that cake but it just looked so good I had to eat it. It beckoned me and I answered. I left work and went to Jeff's to do a load of laundry. I thought about what I wanted to eat, what really sounded good to me and I decided that I really wanted a BBQ Baked Potato. Since I was in Collinsville, I went to Bandana's and ordered one. It tasted SO good, was exactly what I wanted but the more I ate the more my head hurt.
So back to the opening of my blog where I said the Lord knows I have no willpower. That headache led to a VERY long night of throwing up---the cake, my wonderful BBQ Baked Potato, everything!!! About 3:30, after taking 800mg of ibuprofen, I fell asleep. I woke up this morning with a sore neck, a filthy bathroom and a stomach that is still rolling. So today, I am sipping water, eating crackers and saying "OK, I get it".
As I was driving in, I passed a swan on Highway 157. A SWAN!!! It was the oddest thing and I have no idea where it came from. Yet there it was just walking down the turn lane.

I started writing this yesterday morning but by afternoon was again feeling icky so I didn't finish it. I managed to stay at work until 5PM. As they saying goes "the show must go on" and we had outside appointments. As I was leaving I noticed a "pond" of sorts across the highway which is the result of construction. I guess this is where the swan was headed or came from.
I stopped by Dairy Queen for a plain cheeseburger ( my go to meal when I am sick as this is what mom/dad gave me when I was little and sick)and headed home. I laid on the couch drinking water and catching up on shows that I had recorded.
Today, my stomach is better but still not 100%, my head is no longer pounding but the ache has moved to my back. I guess it is working its way out of my body--I hope.

Today

2009-10-16T21:56:00.004-05:00

I am "borrowing" this idea from Ali Edwards blog

Outside My Window: Right now all is black except for the glow of the street light. Earlier today outside my office window I saw the reds and oranges on the leaves of the trees.

I Am Thinking: About the CPR Training I need to finish before work tomorrow, the Halloween Event at the YMCA tomorrow night, the bills that are due and the lack of money to pay them, the fact that 10 years ago today I was at my wedding reception.

I Am Thankful For: The fact that I have two jobs to help pay my bills, that my husband and I are on the path to a better relationship now that we are seperated, that he is willing to help me financially if I only ask (ahhh there's the hard part), that I have a friend who calls because she knows that today will be hard.

From The Kitchen: A Bake Fresh Pizza from Wal-Mart, flavored water and animal crackers

I Am Wearing: My red YMCA staff shirt, a long sleeve white T-shirt and jeans

I Am Creating: Nothing at this point but will be working on Halloween cards

I Am Going: To bed eventually

I Am Reading: Nothing at this moment. I just finished DeathSwatch by Laura Childs which is a scrapbooking mystery. I am waiting for the next one to come in at the library

I Am Hoping: To start my Halloween projects next week, that my costume for tomorrow night fits and to be debt free quickly

I Am Hearing: Random traffic on the street outside

Around The House: The news is on, my pizza is done, dishes are waiting to be washed and the breakfast bar needs to be cleaned off

One Of My Favorite Things: The sound of children's laughter, the head butt of a kitty cat, the sound of rain (OK that was more than one)

A Few Plans For Next Week: Church on Sunday morning, work at the YMCA Sunday afternoon/evening, an estimate on replacing a door in my apartment

A Random Photo:

A Diaper Cake

2009-10-15T22:23:00.003-05:00

I received a lovely thank you note from Katie Bruza today and realized that I had not posted my creation for her shower. Yes, I made this Diaper Cake. It was really fairly easy and a lot of fun to make. The other samples that I have seen used newborn diapers but I chose to use size 2 as babies seem to outgrown newborn stuff quickly. For about $20, I not only created a cute centerpiece but Katie ended up with 2 Jumbo Packs of diapers, a baby bottle, baby powder and a teddy bear.

Today was a good day. It's amazing how good your days can be when you take the time to refuel your soul and spirit midweek. I wasn't feeling at all well yesterday and contemplated just going home after work. Instead, I went to Bread Company for a cup of soup and then to church. Pastor Rob taught a great bible study and I was blessed afterwards by love and blessings of a friend.

I woke up this morning still not feeling on top of my game but gave it over to God and kept on working. After another bowl of soup for lunch, I was feeling much better. You've heard the saying "God Works in Mysterious Ways"? Well I think God worked through my wild rice and chicken soup---LOL

Tomorrow is Boss' Day, so I am stopping at the Cupcakery for a little sweet goodness. I am thinking a Peanut Butter/Chocolate for Tim and I am not sure yet on what to get Mary (my YMCA boss).

I am grateful today for the fact that I have a job (two in fact), a roof over my head, food in pantry, gas in my vehicle, friends that are like family and family that are like friends.

Blessings

A Much Better Day

2009-09-22T19:52:00.002-05:00

A floor lamp, a good nights sleep (finally) and a new vacuume cleaner and today was a much better day. I find it funny that household items always make my dreary days better---I guess I am just a nester/nurturer. If I don't have someone to care for, then I will care for my home.

I went to bed at a normal time for me last night (11PM). I snuggled in, read a chapter and turned on the sound machine. I woke up to a dreary sky and thought the day would be filled with rain. However, mid-morning the sun came out and the day turned out beautiful weather wise.

My vacuume cleaner was delivered this morning--a Eureka made for bare floors and thin rugs/carpets. It's a small canister model and I immediately opened the box and vacuumed the office. That simple act simple act caused me to sing, literally. I had a productive day at work and ended the work day with a fabulous dinner.

I had dinner at Tim/Becky's. Tim grilled steak and we had mashed potatoes and peas. Delaney had a "prize" for me--a handwritten note. It was SO sweet and I can't wait to put it in my scrapbook.

I am now watching Hell's Kitchen, recording Biggest Loser and I have vacuumed my living/kitchen area. I plan on getting to bed at normal time tonight in anticipation of another great day tomorrow.

Hugs and blessings....

Little Things Big Results

2009-09-21T21:06:00.004-05:00

It's amazing how little things can make such a big change. In this particular instance, I am talking about a floor lamp. And to make it even better, the floor lamp was only $8. Little thing, little money, big difference.

Two weeks ago I put my child, my baby, my cat to sleep due to pancreatitis/liver failure. She was my familiar in a new space....a space that I was still struggling to make my own. Once I no longer had her, the space felt empty and I hated being here. I lost my ambition for unpacking, adding finishing touches, etc. I haven't slept because she was my bed partner. So I'm tired and being tired I end up being sad and being sad I just want to sleep. But I can't because I miss her. It's a vicious cycle.

So after work tonight, I went to Target for a floor lamp. The weekly flyer showed a simple black version for $8. I bought it, brought it home and placed it between the TV cabinet and pantry. I turned it on and it added such a warm glow in what otherwise has felt like a dark, sad room. It has brought me a smile tonight and has restarted the thoughts of what I want to do to make this feel like my home.

A little thing that has brought a much needed smile to my lonely heart.

A Very Blessed Easter

2009-04-13T11:12:00.003-05:00

Happy Monday!!! I hope everyone had a blessed Easter holiday. I have no pictures to share but I did have a good day. I woke up to a quiet house as I had stayed at my house the night before. There were no Easter baskets or hidden eggs but the sun was shining and did I mention that I woke up to a quiet house after having slept in an actual bed??? First blessing of the day--LOL

I did miss the kids though as I knew they would be waking up full of excitement to see what the Easter Bunny had brought them. I have kinda grown used to their morning sounds of feet pattering across the floor, Dora on the TV, Carson waking me up to ask if he can play his Playstation. I will miss that when I finally have a place of my own.

Indy and I had our usual morning bowl of cereal, I read the paper and lazily got ready for Sunday School and Church. We had a great Easter Service and I really enjoyed the way Pastor ended it. We ended yesterday's service with communion. Pastor read the scripture about "this is my body...", the deacons passed out the "bread" and once everyone had been served Pastor reminded us what it meant to take the body of Christ. Pastor then read the scripture about "this is my blood..", they passed out the juice and once everyone had been served Pastor reminded us that by taking this we were taking forgiveness. Pastor then said that the Bible reminds us that they left with a hymn. So he asked that everyone join hands and we all sang Amazing Grace. It was so moving and I just felt so connected to God, the church and the people there.

After church, I went through Jack-In-The-Box for a salad. I came back to my house, changed clothes and curled on the couch to watch the finale of Life and eat. I had just finished eating when Katie called and asked if I wanted to join her, Campbell, Amanda and Sherry at Denny's for lunch. I met them and had dessert. Campbell has grown up so much and was just talking away through the meal. At one point, I told her she was a fairy princess and she replied "no, you are". I guess she knows me pretty well. After Denny's, I went back to my house and Indy and I curled up for a Sunday afternoon nap. That evening I went to Brian and Kathi's for Easter dinner, which was also really nice. After dinner I headed back to Tim and Becky's.

Like I said, it was a blessed day.

Bookworm, Bookworm...

2009-03-27T15:07:00.004-05:00

I was singing those two words to the tune of "inch worm, inch worm, measuring the measuring stick..." in case you want to join me.

At my last counseling session, my counselor asked what I was doing for me now that Jeff and I are seperated. I had to stop and think a minute because to be honest I'm not used to having SO much me time. But I quickly realized that I have been reading. and a lot. The library has become my friend again after a seperation of several, several years.

I remember as a child, the enjoyment of just sitting in the stacks and randomly pulling books off the shelf to see what kind of adventure or treasure that they contained. I was blessed that my mom worked for a library system, so access to this wonderful world was easily obtained.

For the past year, I have been taking the Thursday edition of USA Today and scouring the Life section for thier editiorials on the newest books. If something sounded good, I would write it down for possible reading later. It was from one of these editorials that I came across "The Story of Edgar Sawtelle". Several months ago, I also printed out "50 Amazing and Essential Novels to Enrich Your Library". I can't remember who created the list but I obtained from my daily dose of Zen Habits (a blog). From this list, I discovered "The Big Sleep" by Raymond Chandler, "The Time Traveler's Wife" by Audrey Niffenegger and "The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time" by Mark Haddon.

This picture shows three of the books that I have just finished or am reading. "Bel Canto" by Ann Patchett came off of the "50 Amazing ..."list and was WONDERFUL. I could not put this book down and I can't wait to read more of her work. "The Reader" by Bernhard Schlink came from the newspaper and ,of course, the preview for the movie. I haven't seen the movie, not sure that I will but book I read in two days. It was very insightful, a great read and one that I left me several tidbits to ponder over. The third book in the photo is "THe House at Sugar Beach" by Helene Cooper. I just started this book and so far it has started out V-E-R-Y S-L-O-W-L-Y for me. I will let you know how it ends up.

I was hoping for a warm, spring weekend but it looks as if we are going to be given a chilly, wet weekend instead. I will be inside for the most of the weekend, so chilly and wet I will still be warm and dry. I am working at the Scrapbook Cafe tomorrow and then on Sunday I start a new house cleaning job. I have my first choir practice Sunday afternoon followed by Sunday service and then it's the start of a new week. Where does time go that it has to arrive so quickly?

I hope you have a blessed weekend....

From the mouth of babes...

2009-03-17T09:33:00.005-05:00

Happy St. Patrick's Day!!!

My morning started out with a good laugh. When I came upstairs this morning, Delaney was sitting at the table coloring. She was working on one of those "design a mug" projects where they provide you with a drawing that you color and then slip between the clear outside and the mug itself. Anyway, Delaney says to me that she had been up ALL night working on her mug. This made me laugh because I knew that she hadn't been up all night. A moment passed and she said "I think I'm nocturnal because I'm up all night and when day comes I sleep". Now, what other five year old knows what the word nocturnal means? I couldn't help but laugh.

Here is a St. Patrick's Day card that I mailed out to a few people:

and the inside

I just love this saying!!!! If you were one of the recipients of this card, I hope you enjoyed it. For those card making folks out there, the base of the card is made with Stampin Up Very Vanilla, the mat and DP are items that I pulled out of a clearance bin and the stamps are from Hambo Stamps.

Speaking of stamps---I was a winner during Hannah Stamps blog hop give-away!!! If you haven't checked out Hannah Stamps you can find them here
I don't know what I've actually won as the owner is sending out suprize bags. But hey, a prize is a prize!!!!

The weather here today is almost 80 degrees---LOVE IT!! I told Tim that I wanted to move my desk outside. Nothing much else new today. I have my second counseling session tonight, which I'm still not 100% sure about. I know it's helpful and I need to be there but I just cringe at paying the money, especially now.

Happy Trails!
Jess

Has Spring Sprung?

2009-03-16T16:10:00.002-05:00

Has Spring finally Sprung? I would like to think so given the 70 degree weather and sunshine that we have today. However, I know that there is still the possibility of snow and cold weather. I remember an Easter with snow on the ground and me in open toe shoes!!!

Has anyone read "The Story of Edgar Sawtelle"? I just finished it last night and it was a GREAT book. It's about a mute boy born into a family that breeds and trains dogs. However, the ending has really gotten to me and I am dying to chat with someone else that has read it to get their opinions. I think I am going to have to go back and reread the last few chapters just to make sure that I read everything correctly.

It has been one month today that Jeff was arrested and it will be one month on Wednesday that I moved in with Tim and Becky. This past week, I spent Thursday and Friday night at my house. So on Thursday morning, I gave Delaney a hug and told her that I would see her on Saturday. She told me that she would watch my stuff for me. She said that my kitty missed me and I needed to spend some time with her as well. Such understanding from a five year old. On Saturday, I walked into the Philipps house around 3:30 and Delaney met me with a HUGE hug. She ran into the family room and came back holding something clutched in her hand. She said "I made this for you" and handed me a "necklace" which was a ribbon that had green beads on one side and clear beads on the other. I immediately put it on and thanked her. I went down to the couch which has become my bed and took a nap. When I got up, Delaney was so excited that I had slept with the necklace on. Later on as I was rocking her for bed, she told me that the clear beads represented salt and the green beads represented green beans. LOL

Yesterday morning I attended Sunday School and morning service. It was only a week ago that Pastor Winters of Maryville Baptist Church was shot and killed during his 8:15AM service. So our sermon yesterday morning was entitled "Why". It was very good and very thought provoking. One of the things that has stayed with me is this. Pastor Winters was only 45 years old. Our pastor said that many people are asking why God would allow such a tragedy and especially one for someone who was so young. Our pastor, Pastor Schneider, referred to the passage in Job that reads "man's days are determined; you have decreed the number of his months and have set limits he cannot exceed". Pastor stated that God has given each of us only so much time and only He knows what it is. Because of this we should live every day as if it were our last. Who is to say that if someone had apprehended the shooter before he was able to reach Pastor Winters, that Pastor Winters would not have died in a car accident on the way home or had a heart attack that night? God has only given each of us a certain amount of time on this Earth and it is up to us to use that time wisely. Pastor also said that sometimes God allows us to suffer because we need to be in a place of suffering for our soul to mature. If our soul is shallow we cannot receive the blessings that God has for us. As you can see, this sermon has stayed with me.

I had an enjoyable lunch yesterday with my friend Tammy and her daughter Brandy. We stopped by my house so that I could give her the Longaberger she had purchased from me and then I went back to Tim/Becky's. Tim and I made a wonderful dinner of pot roast, mashed potatoes and peas---YUMMMMY.

Today, the sun has shone, work has been steady and I had an interview for a part-time job at Country Inn Hearth and Suites. Becky just called to let us know she thinks Carson has strep throat and she is taking him to the doctor.

As I write this, a song from Casting Crowns is echoing through my head " here I am to worship, here I am to bow down down, here I am to say that you are God..."

If this were your last day, would you be satisfied with how you have lived it?

Jess

Tuesday, Snow, Christmas.....

2008-12-16T10:45:00.002-06:00

It's Tuesday, you know that day after Monday which is supposed to be a much better day because Monday's just always seem to be hectic. I'm sitting at work --yes I know I should be working---looking out on a cold, icy, snowy landscape. My head is in a fog. The kind of fog where you know you are coming down with something but you are not quite sure what. Everything just seems fuzzy, my brain is not quite clear, my nose feels stuffy and my shoulder/neck muscle is still not quite right.

Yesterday we woke up to icy roads and VERY cold temps. Tim called to let me know that he was picking me up for work in about fifteen minutes. I had just gotten out of the shower so I was scrambling to finish getting ready. I grabbed my coat and when I did I turned just the wrong way and pulled the muscle between my shoulder blade and the base of my neck. All day it hurt, sometimes to the point where I was tears, most of the time to the point where I just felt like I was going to throw up. When I arrived home from work, Momma was sitting at the table eating a leftover mashed potato bowl. She seemed fine and I went to change clothes. Of course, I was moving slow and she asked what was wrong and I told her. When I came back out of the bedroom she was on the couch and she asked for a pain pill. She said her ribs were hurting---which I think is actually her lungs. We watched "I Want A Dog for Christmas Charlie Brown"--her laying on the couch and me sitting on the floor trying not to move my head. We were a pair let me tell me you. At the end of the program, I left her laying on the couch watching TV while I went and laid down in bed to watch Monday Night Football. There was no comfortable spot but I ended up dozing off until Jeff came home around 10:30PM.
Today is transfusion day for Momma. She did not want to go because of the weather but she has to. Tracy drove over from Union, MO to go with Jeff and Momma. They were supposed to be at the hospital at 10AM. However, Jeff called at 10:30 to see if Momma had boots which meant that they hadn't left yet. I was on the phone with Momma's doctor at 8AM this morning trying to sort out a confusion over numbing cream that Christie had the doctor order for Momma but I didn't know about. This led to great frustration and tears on my part, a heated discussion between Jeff and I and then a heated discussion between Christie and I. Why are some days SO hard? I also asked the nurse to have the doctor stop by the hospital and listen to Momma's lungs. I'm afraid that she may be going into pneumonia again--what with the pain in her "ribs", her shortness of breath and her coughing.
Christmas is next week and I don't feel at all ready or "in the spirit" or anything. I have wreaths on my outdoor lights but the wreath on my front door is still an Autumn one. The tree is not up, the stockings are not hung, the presents are not wrapped or even completly purchased. Which leads me to the devotion today on Proverbs 31 Ministries which asks if we have gotten so caught up in the season that we have forgotten the reason. Yesterday's devotion spoke about Mary and Martha and the importance of sometimes just "sitting in your mess". The devotion spoke about how Martha was critical of Mary for sitting at the feet of Jesus when there was so much that needed to be done. Jesus chided Martha for this. The author of the devotion talked about how last year during the holiday season she just sat at her table in the midst of the mess and pretended that Jesus was sitting across from her. This refreshed her spirit so much that she plans on doing it again this year. I must admit that I am a Martha type as well. I can always find things that need to be done and often feel overwhelmed at the tasks before me. My "stress free" weekends always end up full of stress when all is said and done. SO I try---try to be more like Mary. I try to focus less on mess and more on spirit. Sometimes I accomplish this and sometimes I don't. However, over the last few days I have found that watching this segement from "A Charlie Brown Christmas" brings it all back into focus.

This show aired on TV last week. In a time where prayer in schools is prohibited and no one wants to mention God, I was happy to see that this is still airing on National Television.

So even though today is a melancholy day for me I still have much to be grateful for.
1. A boss that cares enough to pick up me for work so that I do not have to drive in this weather.
2. A new baby for our friends Sandra and Jaime
3. Parents that understand and allow me to vent when I need to
4. The freedom to hear about God on National Television

Happy Holidays!

2008-12-01T21:42:00.002-06:00

I cannot believe it has been a month since I posted. Time sure does fly. First of all, a happy belated Thanksgiving. I had a wonderful Thanksgiving at my brother and sister-in-law's. I started the day out as Loretta's sous chef helping with the turkey, stuffing, cranberry jelly, cranberry salad and the clean-up that goes along with it. She was referred to the rest of the day as "master chef".

We had a nice Thanksgiving lunch with Tracy, Floyd, Luke, Spring, Big Momma, Loretta, Randy and Sofie. Loretta set a beautiful table, we started the meal with a champagne toast to all that we were thankful for, ate until we were stuffed and then watched some old family videos.

We had two drama's which was not too bad considering all that could have happened. The first was the explosion of the water dispenser. Loretta had planned to serve Spa Water which is water mixed with fresh strawberries, lemons and mint. I cut up the fruit, filled the water dispenser with ice and water and placed it on the table. As soon as I set the dispenser down, the side burst and "fruit fall's" occured. Water, fruit, ice and glass rushed all over the table and the floor. Luckily it was just Loretta and I so we cleaned up and moved on. The second was that Loretta's turkey was not done at 10:30AM like we thought. Loretta had splaycocked the turkey and cooked it in the convection oven for faster cooking. At 10:30AM, the meat thermometer said that it was done. At 12:30 when we were preparing to eat and she cut into it, we found out that it wasn't. Floyd to the rescue with his deep fried turkey!!!

Fred, Christie, Melanie and her kids joined us that afternoon for dessert and karoke. We even had Big Momma singing karoke--"That's Amore!" by Dean Martin. It really was a wonderful day with much to be grateful for.

I woke up at 2:30 the next morning with a slight case of the stomach flu. Luckily I was off work that day. Big Momma and I spent Friday in our jammas, taking naps and being lazy. On Saturday, I had lunch with a college friend that I hadn't seen in over five years. I was able to meet her husband and son and we caught up on what had been going on in our lives and all of our blessings. Yesterday was another lazy day. We woke up to a dusting of snow and VERY cold temps.

Big Momma has had a constant nose bleed since Friday and tomorrow is a transfusion day. It was back to work for me today but thankfully it wasn't too busy. I treated Big Momma to a mashed potato bowl from KFC for dinner and she went to bed early.

Well, the Monday night football game is entering the fourth quarter. So I need to see who wins.

Till later....

Trick or Treat!!!

2008-10-31T09:52:00.002-05:00

Happy Halloween!!! I LOVE this day---it's so much fun for me to get dressed up in costume and hand out candy to all the kids. Of course, around here the kids trick or treat the night before due to the Halloween Parade the town has on Halloween night.

So yesterday, we closed the office at 4:30. I rushed in the door anxious to get ready since trick or treat hours are from 5 to 9. I had no preset costume as money was tight this year. So I went down to my box of costumes from years past and dug out my witch outfit. This is a long black velvet dress with bell sleeves and a hood--very Goth looking. Needless to say it's been a few years since I last wore it so I had to really suck in for it to fit (if you know what I mean). I put on a long dark purple wig and put the hood up--I couldn't find my witch hat. I added some white makeup around my eyes to give them a deep set look and I was ready. Jeff moved the truck out of the driveway so the kids would have a clear path to the door. We put out the jack-o-latern and I settled in on the front porch.

Usually I make individual treat bags for the kids but I did not have any bags this year so I just went with the traditional bowl of candy. I also had a basket of Teddy Grahams for the bitties that usually come by as well (you know, little bitty kids). So I sat on the porch from 5PM to 6PM reading a magazine and no kids. Not one! I felt like a kid on Christmas waiting for Santa---where were they????

Jeff went up to Hardee's to grab some dinner for us and I went in the house. At 6:30, my first little guy showed up. He was a pirate and he said "Trick or Treat Smell My Feet Give Me Something Good to Eat". So cute!! Yeah, the kids were out. But no, there was no else out walking around. Jeff came back with dinner and we sat down to eat. He said that he had seen several groups of kids walking around the neighborhood and was suprized that we had only had the one brave soul. I was so depressed---I have good candy and I'm dressed up!!! Come to my house!!!

Since we are at the back of the cul-de-sac and were the only ones in the cul-de-sac with our porch light on, Jeff had the idea that maybe we should sit out in our driveway so people could see us. So at 7PM, we moved our chairs off the porch and into the driveway. It worked!!! The kids came and oh, they were cute!!! I ended up with about 50 kids last night plus one dog.

I had Tinker Bell, a mummy, a football player, a cowboy and policeman (they were SO cute), two bitties dressed as owls (they were in their stoller), a magician, a clown, a vampire, a Power Ranger, a Jedi Knight, and several that I wasn't sure but they were still cute. They were all SO polite and within the hour it was all done. The neighborhood once again became quite, the porch lights went out and we went back inside.

Today, I am wearing a black shirt that reads "Happy Halloween" across the front in orange and white letters. Yes I am like the little old ladies that wear something for every holdiay but I DO NOT have a Christmas sweater :>) Halloween is so much fun to me because it's full of magic and make believe---which without our imaginations what fun would life be????

I hope you have as wonderful a day as I am having!!!!
Happy Halloween!!!

Momma Update

2008-10-14T14:11:00.002-05:00

Just a quick update on Momma.

She had her platlet transfusion yesterday. I don't know what her numbers were because they didn't give them to Christie and I haven't heard from the doctor. Christie took Momma back to her house when her transfusion was done and I picked her up from there. Christie had made dinner (thank you :>)), so I ate while Momma napped and then we headed home about 7:30 last night. Momma was very tired and weak so she went right to bed. She was still asleep when I left this morning.

The weather here today is overcast and cool. Ali had an appointment at the groomers which Jeff was going to handle. Loretta has a second interview with Eli-Lily today, so please pray that God's will be done.

I will update day two of our Flagstaff trip soon.

Jess

Flagstaff, AZ Part One

2008-10-12T17:48:00.007-05:00

My niece, Krystal, is a sophomore at Northern Arizona University in Flagstaff, AZ. This past weekend was parent’s weekend and my sister-in-law invited me to go along with her on the trip. Having never been to Arizona, in the need of a mental break from life in general and always up for an adventure I said yes.

I have not had the opportunity to really get to know my niece or my sister-in-law for that matter because up until this past May they have lived in West Virginia, Utah and Arizona. My sister-in-law Loretta is Jeff’s brother’s wife. The few times I had met her prior to their moving to St. Louis, I felt that we could be close friends. Since moving to St. Louis, my feelings were justified. She and I have so many things in common (other than that our husbands are brothers)---we both love to cook/bake, we love the simple things in life and we can both appreciate the beauty found in nature. We both like organization and finding a good bargain.

Krystal is her niece that they adopted when Krystal was eleven, I believe. This weekend was the first opportunity that I really got a chance to spend time with her. She is a great girl with a fun personality, hardworking, very caring/kind and someone who anyone would be lucky to have as a friend. She has these beautiful eyes that are like blue pools, thick straight brown hair with blonde highlights and confidence not regularly found in today’s young adults.

Our flight left St. Louis at 6:15AM Saturday morning. Loretta picked me up at 10PM on Friday night, we met Jeff at their loft so I could see him before we left, I helped Loretta pack, and we crashed around midnight. 4AM came very quickly Saturday morning but Loretta and I were up and on our way to the airport by 4:30AM. We parked the car, caught the shuttle, printed out our boarding passes and made the decision to carry on our luggage after finding out that Northwest charged $15 a bag to check it. At security, we hastily repacked our toiletries into clear plastic bags and crossed our fingers that we wouldn’t have to surrender anything. I had to give up my hairspray, but oh well.

Airport security rules no longer allow outside food or drink past the security checkpoint. So once we made it through, we grabbed some breakfast and drinks. We flew from St. Louis to St. Paul, MN and then from St. Paul to Phoenix. Arizona is two hours behind us so we landed in Phoenix around 10:30AM (12:30 our time). Krystal met us and our adventure began.

Loretta and I were starving!!!! It was lunch time for us, so we stopped at Pepe’s Taco’s outside of Phoenix for lunch. I was introduced to Cheese Crisp which I absolutely adored---it’s a tortilla that has been fried and then smothered in cheese and baked. After lunch, it was back in the car and on the road to Flagstaff which is about a two hour driver from Phoenix.

Phoenix is very open, very flat, very brown and very bright. Along the drive we passed cactus, cactus and more cactus and in the background these gorgeous cliffs, peaks and rock formations in variations of red and browns. Loretta explained to me that the Saguaro cactus is a protected plant because it takes so long for them to grown and that if someone is found with one in their truck for example, they receive huge fines. The urban sprawl that we drove through outside of Phoenix was built around these cacti because of this reason. Krystal explained that we would reach a point where there would be a distinct change in the landscape from the flat openness to a hillier, woodsy area on our drive. I didn’t see this change though because I fell asleep---which if you know me is no big surprise.

Flagstaff sits at an elevation of 7000 feet so this was a new experience for me and my lungs but they responded very well :>)

The weather in Flagstaff was rainy and the temperature was brisk (in the 40’s or 50's if I had to guess). Loretta was looking for a down coat and Crocs without holes, I was comfortable in my long sleeve thermal shirt but would have been happy for a pair of gloves. We drove to the NAU campus and Krystal’s dorm first. The campus is so beautiful, very peaceful and calm. It feels and looks like the buildings magically appeared among the trees and you feel as if you are out in the middle of the forest at times. There are hiking trails through campus and the walk is quite often up and down hill.

We met Krystal’s roommate, Kristin, and her suite-mates Rachel and Ellen. The suites are two dorm rooms connected by a bathroom in the middle. Each room has two twin beds, two desks, two closets, two dressers, a book case and a small refrigerator. The bathroom consists of a counter with a double sink, a walk-in shower and a stall for the toilet. Loretta and I were staying in Krystal’s room so we dropped off our luggage and took off on a walking tour of the south campus.

Krystal took us to the DuBois Center or the “Dub” as the students call it. This building is sort of like their student union—it houses their cafeteria, an Einstein Brother’s Bagel restaurant, a small market type store, and a lounge. We took in the cafeteria (yes we were still hungry) where Loretta tried out the biscuits/gravy and some peas. I headed to the ice cream machine and grabbed a twist cone. From there we walked over to the Sky Dome to take in a Lumberjack (school mascot) football game.

I had never been to a college game and both Loretta and Krystal said that this was not a typical game. However, we did have a good time. There was not much fan excitement but we did come back with a great memory---whenever the Lumberjacks score a first down the announcer says in a very monotone voice “Move those chains…….that’s a LUMBER (slight emphasis on this)Jack…..and the crowd replies “first down”. One would think there would be some excitement in the announcers’ voice but there wasn’t.

We left at half-time because we were all three so tired we could barely sit up. We went back to the dorm and crashed HARD. We had talked about going to Sedona for dinner, then we talked about going into downtown Flagstaff for dinner, and once we hit the beds in the dorm we decided that pizza delivered was the best option. Krystal ordered the pizza, fixed Loretta and I a plate when it arrived and cleaned up afterwards which was great since neither Loretta or I had enough energy to move out of bed. To be honest I barely remember eating, that’s how tired I was.

That was day one. I will post day two for you tomorrow.
Momma goes in for her platlet transfusion tomorrow. She is VERY tired today and has the usual nose bleed. I made a German Apple Cake last night which turned out VERY yummy. We had that for breakfast this morning, Momma went back to bed, Jeff went to work and I watched football. I cannot believe that the Rams actually won a game!!!! My beloved Bucs pulled it off again this weekend---GO TAMPA BAY!.
I hope you have had a blessed day as well.

Family Visit

2008-10-09T17:30:00.006-05:00

Last Tuesday, Peggy, Jaime and Jackson came for a vist. Peggy had to deliver one of the puppies to it's new owner who lives on base at Scott, so our house was an easy meeting place.
This is Annie--the puppy that was being delivered. Isn't she sweet?

She was so good while she was at our house. Ali and Indy weren't too thrilled to have another animal invade their territory but we humans didn't mind a bit. If you love Annie as much as we do, Peggy has one male puppy left from the litter. You can go to http://seraphimkennels.com/ for more information. The puppies are pure bred Hungarian Wire-Haired Vizslas and make great hunting dogs if you are into the sort of thing.

Tuesday night was spent at my house just hanging out. Jaime had ordered pizza, the White Sox were still playing ball at that point and we spent the time catching up. Jackson is absolutely adorable---look at this face and tell me that you just can't help but smile....

Jaime is such a good mom--she loves him but doesn't coddle him. He's just a good baby (even though Jaime says he doesn't sleep through the night). We didn't really hear him cry once the whole time they were here.

Wednesday, Annie's new owner's picked her up and then everyone went over to Randy and Loretta's to meet Sofie's bus. They hung out with Sofie for the afternoon until Randy, Loretta and I got off work and joined them. Once again we had pizza, watched the Cubs this time and chatted. Poor Loretta was having computer problems at work and didn't get home until 8:30 or so. Even then she was still stuck trying to get her laptop to work which she later found out wouldn't have happened no matter what they tried. It was a bad computer and had to be replaced. I took Momma home around 9:30 and everyone else stayed at the loft until around midnight.

It was such a great visit and we can't wait to see them again.

Happy Wednesday

2008-10-08T11:32:00.003-05:00

Good morning!!! I have a quick break here at work so I thought I would say hello.
Momma had her weekly blood draw this past Monday and the doctor called with her numbers yesterday. Her platlets are at 31,000, her white blood count is 19.9 and her hemoglobin at 11. So we are good for a couple more days--we have no nose bleeds right now which is a good thing.

Yesterday was a LONG day for me. Loretta and I did not get back from Arizona until 11:30PM Monday night and by the time I made it home and bed it was 1AM. I worked from 8AM to 6PM, had a hair appointment at 6PM, picked up dinner at Quizno's, ran into Walgreens for some gauze and then home. Momma was so hungry by the time I finally got there--but she was a real trooper about waiting.

Jeff had his biopsy yesterday so he was on the couch asleep(thus the need to pick up gauze at Walgreens)when I got home. I took his sandwich and a soda down to him so he didn't have to move too much. Momma and I ate while watching the newest episode of NCIS. After dinner, I did two loads of laundry, prepared my coupons for the week (love the grocery game website!!) and watched some of the Presidential debate.

At around 10:30PM, Jeff said that he would kill for a big soda and I was thirsty as well. So we took Ali and went up to Quick Trip. We grabbed sodas for all of us along with donuts for Jeff and Momma and a honeybun for me. We pigged out and then I got ready for bed.

I started reading "Eat, Pray, Love" last night. My sister-in-law gave me this book at Christmas along with a wonderful handwritten note. I only read the first three chapters last night but I really enjoyed what I read.

So today I was on Ali Edwards blog ,http://aliedwards.typepad.com/, and she is offering a set of stamps. To win you have to leave a comment telling her something good about today. Here was my comment:
Reasons that today is a good day:
The sun is shining but it's a cool brisk day
I have great hair today (happy hair as I call it)
My MIL told me that I looked really nice when I left for work
I was able to get the kitchen picked up before I left this morning
I made plans for lunch on Friday with a friend

What is good today for you? Leave me a comment and let me know.

Have You Missed Me???

2008-09-23T09:23:00.002-05:00

Sometimes I miss me --ha ha

A LOT has gone on since my last post. Momma went back to Litchfield for her class reunion--her 66th I believe. Tracy and Christie took her and they said it was a lot of fun. There were only 25 people there--all that is left of her class from what I understand. Given their age the reunion was actually a lunch---when you reach the age of 83 you have to be home early for bed (or the age of 34 for that matter :>) )
Momma spent the weekend in Hillsboro with Christie while Jeff and I went out of town.

Jeff and I went to Indianapolis for the Moto GP race. We left on Saturday morning EARLY and drove straight to the Speedway. I felt like I was at a mini Sturgis with all the motorcycles (although there were no scantily clad woman which is a staple of Sturgis). We spent the day walking the Speedway, looking at the manufacturers displays and watching qualifying. That evening we went to the fairgrounds for the flat track race which was SO much fun. It was a great race and even though I had no idea who the racers were I was still very excited for the winner. On Sunday, we went back to the Speedway for the actual GP races. We woke up to gray skies and knew that we were going to be battling the weather. We scouted out our seats in the grandstand and settled in. It wasn't long before the rains came in, followed by the wind. At first it wasn't too bad--I had bought two rain ponchos and we were staying pretty dry. Then the rain and wind became a big swirling mass and "I had a feeling I wasn't in Kansas anymore.." We took shelter under the grandstand with everyone else and waited for about an hour before it died down. Back up to our seats we went to watch the main event--determined that we were stronger than the weather. There were HUGE puddles of water on the track that the facility was diligently trying to dry out. Finally, the race started and our "local" boy, Nicky Hayden was leading. It was a 28 lap race, the track was still wet, the drivers were doing between 130-180on MOTORCYCLES when the rain and wind came back. I was hunkered as far down into my poncho as a I could go cheering on Nicky. The wind blew a manufacturer's tent down in the infield, it started whipping things out of the grandstands onto the track and it ripped a barrier off of the wall and the race was called with 8 laps left to run. Mother Nature won the battle. We drove home after a stop at Cracker Barrell for some WARM food.

When we walked in our door at about 9:30PM, we were met by Indy who was meowing frantically. She had clawed up the carpet at the door and when we walked in we knew why. With all the rain Glen Carbon had taken that day, our basement had flooded, on the finished side. So we ended our trip with a night spent moving furniture and running a shop vac. I felt so overwhelmed when I stood there surrounded by wet carpet and wet everything. I was waiting for Jeff to yell out of frustration and I am was torn over whether to file an insurance claim.

I set to work and just felt God's peace--as if he were saying "I'm in control, there is a reason". I went ahead and filed the claim even though I didn't know how we were going to pay the deductible. I guess that's called faith. It turned out that our insurance company had declared the state of Illinois a catastrophe. This means that our claim was not surchargable. Jeff worked dilligently for two days and we felt like we had saved the carpet, drywall, etc. I called back into our claims department to cancel the claim. My adjuster advised me to leave it open. Due to the amount of claims, the mitigation and the damages they were not even inspecting all the properties. They asked me some questions and stated that they were mailing me a check for the limit of my coverage with the deductible waived. I looked to Heaven and thanked God. He did have control, He knew tht financially were in a place were we needed some help and I stepped out in faith which He rewarded.

I was reading my devotion this morning and it was about the invalid who was laying on the mat next to well of healing. In the Bible, it says that Jesus went to the man and asked him if he wanted to be healed. The man replied that he did but that he had no one to carry him to the waters and someone always made it there before him. The devotion asked if we were stuck on our mat---maybe feeling sorry for ourselves, feeling like we were in a hopeless situation, giving up on life. This man was on the mat for just that time--when Jesus would come up to him and ask him if he would be healed. You may be on a mat right now but don't despair---trust and know that Jesus knows where you are and you are there for a purpose. Live life to your fullest while you are on your mat and before you know it, Jesus will heal you of whatever affliction has caused you to be there. Soon you will be carrying mat and taking a new path that God has already laid out.

Have a blessed week!!!

You Have To Read...

2008-09-09T11:37:00.002-05:00

"Sarah's Key" by Tatiana DeRosnay. I read a review for this book in my latest edition of Hallmark Magazine and requested it from the library. I picked it up last night at 6PM and I finished it this morning at 10:30(thank goodness I have a laid back boss :>) )

The book is a historical fiction novel about a ten year old girl who was arrested with her family in the 1942 Vel'd'Hiv roundup. I had never heard of this event but apparently it is "the most notorious act of French collaboration with the Nazis".

The girl has a secret that connects her to a modern day family in Paris 2002. The story was very well written and I just couldn't put it down once I started reading it. There were places where I felt like I knew what was going to happen but then the author took it down a different path.

Needless to say I didn't sleep much last night :>) I had had a killer migraine the night before and hadn't gotten much sleep. Once I was home last night, I made dinner and then curled up on my bed to watch the Packers/Vikings game. I fell asleep between 8 and 8:30 and woke up when Jeff arrived home at 10:30. I was awake then so I grabbed the book and started in. I finally put it down at 3AM and brought it to work so that I could finish it. I just had to find out what happened!!!!

I hope you enjoy it as much as I did!!!

63 Years Ago....

2008-09-07T18:30:00.002-05:00

Margaret Johnsey became Mrs. Ralph Budd. Today would have been Momma's 63rd wedding anniversary. There was no celebration but instead a journey of memories. I took Momma to Union to visit Ralph's grave and then we spent the afternoon with Tracy and Floyd.

I was afraid we were going to have to go in the rain much like the last time I took her. However, by the time we arrived the sun was shining and the day was beautiful.

I hope you had a wonderful Sunday.....

It's Here!!!!

2008-09-04T09:20:00.002-05:00

Can you hear it (dun dun dun dun), can you feel it (foot stomping thunder, your heart beating in your chest), can you believe it???? Tonight is the first regular season NFL game!!!!!

Last weekend was great with the start of college football but tonight the games are for real. The Redskins vs the Giants. I am not a Giants fan so I will be rooting on the Redskins. My beloved Buccaneers play the Saints on Sunday.

Those who know me will know not to contact me tonight unless it's be text message. I will be sitting on the couch with taco dip, chips and a big glass of iced tea. Tomorrow I will probably be hoarse from screaming at the TV.

What fun!!! Fall is officially here!!!

2008-09-03T09:13:00.002-05:00

Do you ever feel like you are in the tiniest boat upon the stormiest sea? You can't put your finger on it but there's a unsettled feeling around you--not necessarily just one thing but a myriad of things and feelings that are causing your boat to rock. You hunker down and keep hoping that the seas will calm and your little boat will go back to joyfully skimming along the water. When in reality, we need to be like the fisherman on the boat in the Bible who cried "LORD SAVE US".

Are you, like me, hunkering down in your boat hoping that the storm will end? Have you, like me, forgotten that our Heavenly father can calm the storm if we would but ask?

It hit me smack dab in the middle of my forehead last night. My dad went back home yesterday after visiting us for the week. He had been such a help and such a joy to Momma while he was here. My day at work was tension filled---so many clients needed so many things ASAP and we were at the mercy of other brokers. I arrived home to find just Momma. She was weak, her nose was bleeding, she was frustrated and she was depressed. Her platlets were at 11 yesterday which means another transfusion today. Jeff was no where to be found and when I asked her where he was she said that she thought he had gone to Home Depot.

I putzed around the house feeding the dog, emptying the dishwasher, going through the mail and still no Jeff. Finally I called his cell phone and he said that he was on his way home. He came through the door with a downtrodden look on his face. I asked if he was OK and he waved the question off. He went downstairs to the family room and I followed. I asked about dinner and he said that he didn't care. All night he projected a cloud of unhappiness.

I sat upstairs with Momma, watching TV and doing word find puzzles. In my mind, I was running through scenarios trying to figure out what could have made him so depressed. I turned the page in my word find book and the subject of the puzzle was the book of Ruth.

I paused and said to Momma how much I enjoyed this particular book of the Bible. I felt God urging me to pick up my Bible and read Ruth's story again. So I completed the word find, picked up my Bible off the shelf and curled up in my bed to read her story.

Ruth was married to one of Naomi's sons. Naomi's husband and sons passed away and Naomi urged her daughter-in-laws to return to their people. Ruth, however, refused to leave Naomi. She says " your people shall be my people, your lands my lands, and your Gods my Gods. Where you lead I will follow". Ruth was dedicated to the well being of her mother-in-law.

I felt like God smacked me in the head and said ---you are doing what I want you to do. You are on the path that I have chosen for you. Your marriage may not be full of happiness and joy but I brought you down this path for this moment in time. He knew that Momma would need this special care at this moment in her life. He knew that I was the one He had chosen to provide that care. I closed my eyes and breathed a prayer that God would give me wisdom and that I would always remember that He is in control.

My boat is still rocking this morning but I know that I am safe because God is directing my path.

If you feel like your boat is rocking, take some time to listen--really listen---to what God maybe saying to you. Even in the hard times, God has hand upon you and if you let him He will direct you to where you are supposed to be.

Birthdays, Family and Fun

2008-08-27T11:31:00.007-05:00

The last time I blogged the kids were getting ready to start school. Carson's first day was last Tuesday. He loves his teacher, Ms.Isaacs, and so far things are good. His momma shed a few tears but that's to be expected when your baby starts first grade (or second or fifth or tenth). Carson is home sick today--he has whatever this allergy/cold thing is that's going around. We all sound like frogs. Delaney started preschool on Wednesday and in typical Delaney fashion she marched right in and attacked the day.

Randy, Loretta and Sofie came over on Tuesday night. We grilled burgers and brats, called Tracy to wish her a happy birthday and just enjoyed each other's company. I really look forward to these Tuesday nights. Loretta and I get along so well---she is a true kindred spirit, Jeff and Randy do their thing, we all love on Sofie and Momma (Jeff's mom for future reference) just basks in the joy of having her family near. Loretta and I took Sofie for a walk and while Loretta was getting out the stroller Sofie took some time to indulge in one of her passions...rocks

Friday night I met up with the girls at Scrapbook Cafe and cropped. I managed to finish two layouts of Jackson and cut out the pieces for my Pine Cone Press project. Saturday, Momma and I went over to St. Louis. We had lunch with Randy, Loretta and Sofie and then went to the History Museum for the World's Fair Exhibit. I came home, made Dad's birthday cake and waited for mom and dad to show up.

We all went to LaFonda for Dad's birthday dinner and then it was home for cake and presents.

Jeff and I gave him a portable DVD player. Dad's spends a lot of time out in the garage watching the people drive and walk by. This was the perfect gift because it allows him to play his CD's or DVD's while he is outside. I knew that it was perfect when he gave me an unexpected hug--the kind where you throw your arms around the person and squeeze with happiness.

Sunday, my mom and I attended a Longaberger luncheon and then mom went back home. Dad is staying with me for the week. Thank goodness because Monday was the day from HELL and if Dad hadn't been here it would have been worse.

We made it through Monday and so far the week has been good. Momma went to the doctor yesterday. There are no major changes which is good. I had Pine Cone Press class last night and Randy came over to spend time with Jeff.

Dad and I had one on one time this morning over breakfast and tonight I am getting my hair done.

Today I am thankful for the little things like unexpected hugs. Look around you for the little things that make you smile.

Back to School Cards

2008-08-17T19:30:00.007-05:00

Can you believe it's time for the kids to go back to school??? I know that here they are going back earlier than usual. My two children (well not really mine but I still LOVE them) start Tuesday and Wednesday.

Carson starts first grade ----I could just cry and I'm not even his birth mother.

So here is the card that I made I for him.....

I was happy with it until I added the rub on "Back to School" at the top. I should have applied it to a white piece of card stock and then affixed it to the card. I LOVE the Tigger though. I was trying to find a stamp to fit the theme and was coming up blank. I stumbled across this Tigger and he just looked like he was marching off to school. So I gave him a little love, cut him out, used a black jelly roll pin on his stripes and then colored in the rest with a blender pen and SU Groovy Guava ink. Carson's mom would be so proud of my pen skills :>)

Delaney starts Preschool....not as major but still very important.

Delaney is our animal lover, so this is her card.....

I am MUCH happier with this card...I should be since it took my two days. The background is stamped with polka dots, I included Delaney's two favorite "friends" butterfly's and ladybugs, and , of course, the stamps of the two girls. The inside says " Have fun in preschool and make lots of friends". I know she will.

Love your children because they grow up so quickly.....

We Each Have A Gift

2008-08-12T09:17:00.003-05:00

Sunday I was perusing my favorite blogs when I came across this entry on http://www.tayloredexpressions.blogspot.com/.

"I decided to make this little spiral-bound book to write down some of my favorite verses. My mom shared one of her favorite verses with me yesterday. It really spoke to me as I continue on this creative journey so I decided to make it the first entry in my book. It's 1 Peter 4:10:
"Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God's grace in its various forms."
What really strikes me about this verse is what it doesn't say. It doesn't say "If you received a gift..." it says "whatever gift you have received". We have all received gifts from Him... special and unique and it is our responsibility and privilege to use those gift to glorify God."

I gain a lot of inspiration from Taylor's creations but this one really spoke to me. We all have a gift....even if we don't think we do. How many times have you received the email survey from a friend asking you to answer a list of questions about yourself? There is always the question that states "what is your hidden talent" and most of us reply "nothing". This is not true according to God's Word.

Perhaps you have a gift of hospitality---you know how to make people feel welcome and comfortable in your home, at an event, etc. Maybe it's the gift of working with children or adults. Our gifts do not have to be "creative" necessarily.

Remember that we will all have a gift---embrace yours.

If I Were A RIch Man.......

2008-08-10T15:53:00.002-05:00

deedle deedle deedle do.....I would buy season tickets for the Muny every year!!!

My mom, my friend/sister Becky and I went to see Fiddler on the Roof at the Muny last night. We had gorgeous weather (it's an outdoor theater), great seats and the play was fantastic. I, of course, forgot my camera so I have no pics to show of us.

Jeff's mom was supposed to go but this is a transfusion weekend and to be honest, she just couldn't have made it if we had taken her. I started out the evening with a migraine (of course). Mom and I had a quick dinner at Subway, picked up Becky and then arrived at the Muny about an hour before show time.

Parking is such a bear in Forest Park where the theater is located that you have to arrive early. Becky hadn't been to the Muny since college so it was a great opportunity to just walk around and to listen to the Muny Kids sing before the gates open.

Gates opened and we went straight to the concession stands. Becky had watched a show on the Food Network about a St. Louis man who makes these ice cream cones that are dipped in chocoloate and rolled in nuts and then the whole ice cream cone is rolled in chocolate. The ice cream cone is only sold in St. Louis so we had to have one. She had that and I went on the mild side with a strawberry sorbet (it's made locally by the same man but no chocolate or nuts).

Off to our seats where we were met by a SWARM of bees. Apparently there was a soda accident in our row and the rows immeditately in front of and behind us, so they were drawn to the sticky goodness. As I am usually Ms. Prepared, I whipped out my baby wipes and cleaned off our seats. The bees were leaving us alone but were bothering everyone around us, so someone finally went for an usher. He came back with this can of "bee foam" and sprayed them all--at least most of them.

And then the real show started-----again, a beautiful night. The stars were out and there was a light breeze every now and then. The actors/actresses were great and the songs of course stick in your head for hours and days. I agreed with Becky that the ending was anti-climatic but then, what can you do????

So my words of wisdom today are:
1. Always come prepared for the POSSIBLE situations
2. Take time to enjoy time with those you love
3. Listen to your heart

Mazel tov

Blog Candy!!!

2008-07-21T16:18:00.002-05:00

Don't know what Blog Candy is? Blog Candy is free stuff from the owner of the blog. Korin has a great blog site that I check out daily and today she is giving away blog candy! If you want to know more, just log onto her site:http://inkydoodle.blogspot.com/2008/07/blog-candy.html

Today is Monday, which means that it is blood work day for Momma. I don't have any results though because her doctor is out of town and the doctor filling in for her is in a satellite office today. So maybe tomorrow we will know where she is out as far as her platlets are concerned.

Yesterday was a quiet day around our house. Momma wasn't feeling very good--I think she was missing my dad just like the rest of us :>) ---although she couldn't tell me exactly what hurt. She just felt BLAH. So she took two naps instead of one. I washed her hair, did two loads of laundry, stayed in my PJ's all day and read. I'm reading a book that I received for my birthday called "Rhett Butler's People" and I'm really enjoying it. If you loved Gone with the Wind you will enjoy this look into Rhett and the people in his life that helped make him the way he was.

Jeff and I went to see the "Dark Knight" this past Saturday. We went to the 10:30PM show and it was sold out. You have to see it just for Heath Ledger's performance as the Joker. Everything that people are raving about is true--his performance is awesome. The movie itself I enjoyed until about 3/4 of the way through and then it sort of lost its way for me. I can't say too much because I don't want to give anything away but it is definately a must see.

We have a heat advisory here today--another 100 degree and hotter day. Thank goodness I work indoors!!!!

I hope everyone has a great week---keep smiling :>)

Taylor's Cupcake Challenge

2008-07-19T16:41:00.004-05:00

Taylor over at Taylored Expressions (http://tayloredexpressions.blogspot.com/) issues a cupcake challenge every Friday. I have never participated but since I needed to make a thank you card for my dad, I thought "why not". Here is my card:

I used Sahara Sand from SU for the main paper, Cupcake Paper for PP, a SU sentiment, twill tape and these wonderful "stones " that I just got from Sweet and Sassy Stamps. I also dry embossed some circles but you can't really see them.

So if you want to play along here are all the details you need to know.

1.You're not required to use cupcakes for the challenge, but if you got 'em why not use 'em!? :)

2.You're welcome to create something other than a card, just stick as closely to the sketch as possible and you'll be eligible for the prize drawing!

3.If you're uploading to Splitcoast use keyword TECC25 (for Taylored Expressions Cupcake Challenge 24 4

4.Each week, I plan to have a Featured Cupcake Sampler! The cutest and most creative sample from the previous week will receive the featured cupcake sampler honors. The winner will receive the sketch ahead of time in order to create a card that will be featured along with a link to your blog on Cupcake Friday!

5.Featured Cupcake Sampler this week is Donna from Serenity in Stamping!

Here Come the Weekend

2008-07-18T21:56:00.004-05:00

Instead of "here comes the sun...." I am singing "here come the weekend and I say.." I'm sad. My daddy goes home tomorrow---Mom is picking him up around 10:30 :<[

It has been such a blessing and a joy to have him here this week. He and I really are two peas in a pod and I will proudly say that I am a Daddy's girl. Every night when I got home from work, he had my house straightened up and a big glass of tea waiting for me. He made sure that Jeff's mom had whatever she needed and he helped Jeff out in the yard. I took him out for breakfast again this morning so that we could have some additional one on one time.

Jeff's mom (Momma) is still doing well. We started her on the Topamax for her headaches on Tuesday night. Wednesday she did great--no headache but today she had one. So I don't know. It's only been a couple of days so we will see how it works out for her.

I promised pictures from my trip to Madison and here they are.....

Who would have thought that you could lay on a beach in Madison? I sure didn't but my BFF Kathi found this great beach on Lake Wingra. We spent several hours just enjoying our treasures (aka books) that we had scored that morning from the Half-Price book store. This beach was adjacent to a zoo, so we of course had to check that out as well. I will never forget this huge oragantang!!!!

It was a great weekend--a wonderful Summer Celebration (that's code for Kathi's birthday but don't tell anyone :>) ) We drove up on Friday afternoon, spent Saturday morning at the Farmers Market and the Half Price Book Store and then went to the beach. We went to the zoo and then back to our hotel for some rest and reading and then had a wonderful dinner. Sunday we headed back to reality.

I'm thankful for a wonderful friend who appreciates the same things in life that I do, the ability and freedom to read whatever I choose and the opportunities that each day gives.

A Good Day

2008-07-16T10:35:00.002-05:00

Yesterday was a good day. Tracy and Jeff took Momma to Hillsboro for blood work, a doctor's appointment and a transfusion. I went into work late and took my dad out for breakfast.

It was so nice to have one on one time with my dad and breakfast is his favorite meal. We sat and talked about his friends, my friends, his work at the apartment complex and life in general. After breakfast, I dropped him off at my house and then I went to work. He spent the day with Ali (momma's dog) and Indy (my cat). When I got home from work, it was still just us. I grilled some brats, made some butter noodles and we had a nice quiet dinner.

Momma's platlets were at 2 yesterday but her white blood count is coming down and her hemoglobin is good. They gave her three bags of platelets this time instead of the normal two to see if she would be able to go a little longer between transfusions. The doctor prescribed her an anti-seizure medication for her headaches--the doctor said that it is the lowest dose of this drug but she wants Momma to take it and see if it will stop the headache. Her blood shot eye is nothing to be concerned about and she goes back at the end of August.

Jeff, Tracy and Momma got home around 9PM. I convinced Tracy to stay instead of driving back home and we all pretty much were in bed by 10:30PM.

I am thankful for my daddy and the bond that we share, I'm thankful for Tracy and her willingness to drive to our house and then to Hillsboro for momma's transfusions and appts. and I'm thankful for the quite moments that we are given every day. These moments sometimes are fleeting but they are precious because they allow us the time to reflect.

A Day for a First

2008-07-13T22:08:00.002-05:00

So today, I took Jeff's mom to Bobby's for ice cream as usual. What wasn't usual is that we saw a woman with a blue Macaw and the bird was eating ice cream!!! Of course I didn't have my camera but trust me when I say it was a sight that you don't normally see. The woman was sitting at a table with the bird on her arm. There was music playing and in between bites of ice cream, the bird was bobbing up and down to the beat. It was actually really cool.

My mom went back home today and my dad is going to spend the week with me. Mom said that she needs a break :>) She and dad are both laid off right now and she is not used to having him around 24/7. I'm looking forward to having some one on one time with my dad.

Jeff's mom had a headache again today. I gave her some Tylenol and after a couple of naps she seemed to be doing better. Her right eye is extremely blood shot and I'm not sure why---she said that it hurts and I imagine that it does.

We watched Extreme Home Makeover tonight and the family was that of a blind and disabled 19 year old boy. It was so inspiring to see this boy who sees himself as able, not disabled. Which brings me to what I am grateful for today.....

I am grateful that I have full use of my arms and legs, that I have the ability to see all that God has created and given and that I can function without the aide of others.

Some Cropping Time...

2008-07-12T19:16:00.004-05:00

I ran away last night for a couple of hours and actually finished a couple of layouts. They both are from Christmas of last year. This past Christmas I was really struck by the traditions that families have and those that I have continued or started. This first layout highlights two of my favorite......

The first is my mom and dad's wedding anniversary. They were married on Christmas Eve and when I was young I always gave them a gift certificate for dinner. Once I graduated from college and they started spending the holidays with me up here, I always took them out. This year we went to Bella Millano.

The second tradition I started when we bought our house in 2004. This was the first time that my husband and I put up a tree. That first year, once the tree was completely decorated I turned out all the lights in the house and just enjoyed the lights from the tree. Every year since this has been my tradition. It is usually just me in the house and I found that it is a great time to reflect on the past year and what Christmas really means.

The next layout also has to do with traditions......

About the same time that we moved into our house, our friends the Cheathams started inviting us and my parents over during the holiday. We have dinner, play games and exchange gifts. The Cheathams have four legged children and we always make sure that Santa visits them just as he does us humans. This layout shows their "children" minus one cat.

So that is what I accomplished last night plus three layouts of my Christmas cards. It was a wonderful evening spent with my good friend Becky, an acquaintance and hopefully someday friend Brooke and Mary, the owner of Scrapbook Cafe.

My parents are here today. Mom and I drove to Hillsboro and had our hair done by Melanie. On the way home we stopped at Ice Cream Man for some Fat Elvis (gotta have it) and ended the evening with some Steak N Shake. My dad stayed with Big Momma while we were gone.

Big Momma had another headache today but her spirits are good and ,so far, her nose is not bleeding.

Today I am thankful for good friends who share a similar interest :< ), my parents and all they have done and do for me, and the unquestioning love of an animal.

Big Momma Update

2008-07-10T21:03:00.002-05:00

Today is Thursday, which means that it is a blood work day for Momma. She woke up with a headache so I gave her two Tylenol and sent her back to bed before I left for work. I spoke with Jeff around 12:30 and he said that they were on their way back from the hospital which is my cue to call the doctor's office to let them know to expect the results.

Her platlets are at 40,000, her white blood count is at 17 and her hemoglobin is at 12. The white blood count is still high (normal is 4-10) but hopefully the antibotics will do their thing and it will continue to go back down. She has an appointment with the doctor on Tuesday followed by a transfusion.

Her last transfusion on July 3rd was followed by a stay at the hospital. Her white blood count was in the 20's and she was not feeling good at all. The doctor initially thought that her pre-leukemia condition had developed into leukemia but on Saturday told us that she was wrong and that it was simply pneumonia. She spent the holiday in the hospital and came home on Monday.

We had a nice visit with Luke and Jen last night---they came and had dinner with Momma which meant a lot to her.

I don't have any pictures to post as I didn't take my camera with me on my trips back and forth to the hospital. However, I will have some pictures to post from my girl getaway to Madison, WI.

Today I am thankful for family, the ability to read a good book and the fact that Momma is home.

It's One, Two, ......

2008-06-26T13:25:00.007-05:00

"Three strikes your out at the old ballgame:........

Last night, Jeff, Mom, Randy, Loretta, Krystal, Sofie and I went to a Grizzlies baseball game. The Grizzlies are part of the Frontier League and we have never been disappointed with a game.

We had seats at a picnic table along the first base line which meant that it became foul territory when there was a right handed batter. We had mom's wheelchair in prime viewing area and ,as a precaution, put the baseball glove on her hand in case of foul balls :>)

She had such a good time. While the rest of us were talking and eating she was focused on the game. Occassionaly she would ask "what just happened?" and one of us would try to figure out the play since we weren't really paying as much attention. It was great to get her out of the house and see her enjoying herself.

Sofie had a good time as well and was SO good. She lasted until about the eighth inning before she started fighting sleep. Randy would walk her up and down the bleacher steps or one of us would push her around in her stroller. That girl loves to be on the move!!!!

The weather was beautiful, the crowd was great, the food was awesome (you can't beat a Baseball's Best Hot Dog with sauerkraut, bacon and cheddar cheese) and the Grizzlies won. We can't wait to do it again!!!!

Ice Cream....

2008-06-24T10:34:00.000-05:00

I saw a shirt this morning that read "Ice cream fixes everything". I find that very true---my philosophy is that you just can't be unhappy or sad when eating ice cream. Somthing about the way it feels in your mouth just makes you smile, even if you don't want to.

My favorite--Peanut Butter and Chocolate, followed by Chip and Mint and Prailines/Caramel. I also came across something called Fat Elvis which is banana flavored ice cream with peanut butter and chocolate---YUMMY!!!

My mother-in-law feels the same way that I do about ice cream--whenever she is having a bad day I can always bring her ice cream and it perks her right up. Speaking of mom-in-law, yesterday was transfusion day. Her platlets were down to a 2 when we took her in but suprizingly we didn't have the normal nosebleed that accompanies such a low number. She was wiped out by the time she got home last night and went to bed fairly early.

My cousin-in-law, Lisa, called us from California last night. Her son, who is 7 or 8 I believe, is fascinated with the weather channel. He told her that we had had a lot of super cells lately and that she needed to call and check on us---isn't that adorable??? Lisa is wonderful to all of us but especially mom-in-law. She is faithful in sending cards to her, which always brighten her day, and in calling occassionally just to say Hi. Those little things mean so much, especially to someone who spends the majority of their time at home.

Three things I am grateful for today----ice cream :>), the thoughtfulness of children, and the sunshine.

I know that most of you may not have a google account to add comments to this blog. However, if you do want to comment you can also email me at jekkaj1@hotmail.com

Happiest Day of the Year????

2008-06-22T17:39:00.000-05:00

So, I was reading in the paper last week that this past Friday was supposedly the happiest day of the year. I can't remember the reason why but like the author of the column, I think that just depends upon who you are and the situation. Plus, why can there only be one happy day? My birthday was a happy day, today was a happy day---I think there are numerous happy days.

ANYWAY, last Tuesday and Wednesday Jeff and I decided to tackle what used to be a flower bed and has now become the WEED GARDEN. Our dream is to someday turn the whole space into a patio area but until money grows on trees (that we own) it is a weed garden with flowers. After two days, six bags of mulch and three new paver stones we managed to at least turn a portion of back into a flower bed......

There are only four more areas to go before the entire thing is complete--so maybe four weeks???

I had the BEST day today. I met a girlfriend for lunch at Lotta Watta Creek--YUM and then we went to Borders where we just browsed and chatted over coffee. I could just feel the stress drain out of my body. Sometimes we not only need time for us but girlfriend time as well.

I read somewhere ( I know I do a lot of that but I'm home a lot with my mother-in-law) that we should meditate everyday on our blessings and list three things that we are grateful for that day. So today I am grateful for:

Good friends, the fact that I have a little extra money to enjoy a great meal out, and my cat Indy (she always makes me smile).

Reviving

2008-06-14T20:31:00.000-05:00

Happy Saturday!!!

My poor boss yesterday had to deal with me having a melt down just about all day. Luckily he was out of the office in the morning for a meeting. My life is so upside down chaotic that I reached a point where all I could do was cry---I was just SO tired. I came home, made dinner for my mother-in-law and I and went to bed at 8PM. I slept until 9AM this morning but I feel SO much better.

So here is the graduation card that I have been talking about ---

I have to admit that i was pretty proud of it and even more so when my husband asked where I had bought the card :> ) Since I made this I haven't really had the time to stamp, scrap or create but I'm hoping to change that tomorrow. If I do, I'll be sure to post my creations. I hope you are enjoying your Father's Day weekend.......

Celebrating the Little Things

2008-06-12T16:05:00.000-05:00

Happy Thursday! Can you believe that we are already into the second week of June? I know that I can't. In my last blog, I stated that I was hoping for a Joyful June. In order to achieve that joy, I am celebrating the little things, the small miracles, the seeds of happiness.

Yes our air conditioner unit did go out but the repair man was able to replace the motor instead of the entire unit. A small thing but a GREAT blessing. I had a manicure/pedicure this past Thursday night. A small indulgence but one that always makes me smile. There is just something happy about manicured feet and toes :>) I had a weekend with no where to be, no obligations, nothing on the calendar. I was able to finally plant flowers in my planters--a small accomplishment for some but HUGE for me. I spent Saturday morning at the Farmers Market with my sister-in-law and two nieces. What a wonderful time and what wonderful produce I scored for only $10! Finally, my mother-in-law had her blood work done today and her platelet number was 115,000. That is a MAJOR accomplishment because we haven't been in triple digits for over a month.

Little things, small miracles, seeds of happiness---they occur in our lives every day if we just take the time to recogonize them. What little things are you grateful for?

I'm Alive---Barely

2008-06-04T09:23:00.000-05:00

Happy Wednesday---at least that is what I am telling myself. It's rather gloomy today but unlike Eyore I am not sitting in my gloomy spot. I am actually at work which for me is typically a happy place( I know that I'm one of the lucky ones).

SO much has happened since my last blog---thus the lapse in time. First there was Mother's Day, then my nousin (cousin who is more like my nephew) graduated from high school, my brother-in-law and his family moved back to St. Louis, Memorial Day, and I ended the month by helping a good friend with a Longaberger basket sale. MAY MADNESS!!!

I was hoping for a Joyful June when our airconditioner quit working---so now we are in the process of replacing it. I am still telling myself that June will be Joyful.

I have pictures to upload of the graduation card that I made and of the Mother's Day card but I haven't yet figured out how to do it. As soon as I do though, I will share with you.

I hope that you have a Joyful June

Jessica

What Happened To My Zen?

2008-04-25T10:18:00.000-05:00

So, it was 11:23PM and I would normally be curled up in my nest fast asleep. Not so last night--last night I was sitting next to the sump pump well with a wooden mallet trying to get the switch on the pump unstuck.

My day at work had been hectic, my personal life had flooded into my 9-6 and I was trying to balance my clients and scheduling my mother-in-law's platlet transfusion. My saving grace during the afternoon was the thought that at 7PM I would be getting a manicure and pedicure. Six o' clock came and I headed home for my much needed zen.

My friend Rachel was already at my house giving my mother-in-law a manicure. I did the usual routine of changing clothes, taking out the dog, etc and then it was my turn to be pampered. I soaked it all in and was thinking that once my zen treatment was over, I would head down to my scrap room and try to finish up some projects.

About 9PM, I headed downstairs and heard the sump running. And running and running and running . I knew this sound and knew it was bad because we had been through this before. The switch on the pump gets stuck and it will run until it burns itself up. So I called my husband for direction. After trying to bang on the casing to release the switch and trying to jimmy the handle, he said I needed to go buy a new pump. Good in theory except Sears, Lowes and Home Depot close at 9PM----I really believe that one of them should be like Walgreens and stay open 24 hours for emergencies. So it was back downstairs where I would let the well fill up, I would plug in the pump and let it drain and then unplug it and start all over again. So much for my zen.

Being one to always try and find a positive--I was able to finally clean and organize my scrap room. My husband had just put up two more shelves for me, so I organized my area into a card making station, a scrapbooking station and a gift station. I felt like I could conquer any project once I was done:>)

I woke up this morning to happy toes and fingers. I love looking down at freshly pedicured toes and Rachel always does some type of nail art for me. This time it was simple flowers but it makes me smile every time I look at down at my feet.

So what makes you happy or provides your zen?

My First Blog

2008-04-24T11:55:00.000-05:00

Happy Thursday!
I start every morning by checking out the blogs of some of my favorit scrappers and paper crafters. So I took a leap this morning and decided that I would create my own blog. Since I am at my 9-6 job right now, I have no pictures to post but I promise that I will add those soon.

I am a 34 year old novice scrapper/paper crafter. I started out with stamping about ten years ago and then put it away after a few months. Then about a year ago, my friend Becky got me started on scrapbooking. This led to a love of card making and it was all downhill (or uphill depending upon how you look at it) from there. I joined a Pine Cone Press Club group in December of last year and have felt my confidence level grow since. Our leader, Pam, says that everytime she sees something I have done she thinks "Jessica's blooming" which is exactly how I feel.

I have found my inspiration through Becky's pages, Pam's ideas, a blog title inkastamp, our local scrapbook store--Scrapbook Cafe, and life in general. Since scrapbooking, I find that I appreciate and notice the little things in my daily life even more.

What inspires you?